I was taking a golf lesson at the range one day trying to improve my game. This old pro was sitting there giving the lesson and after every swing, he said: "your standing too close the ball". So I adjusted my stance and took another swing. Again the golf pro looked up from his seat and said the Same thing "you are too close to the ball." So I stepped back a little more and swung. This went on for another six swings with the same advice and finally, out of exasperation I screamed what the hell are you talking about! The old pro said, "no no, you are too close to the ball after you hit it".
How do you get four old ladies to shout "F*ck"? Get a fifth old lady to shout "Bingo!"
Chuck Norris caught all the 493 Pokemon... With the Yellow version.
If you use Chuck Norris in a game of Rock-Paper-Scissors, you automatically win.
Q: Did you hear about the leper poker game? A: One guy threw in his hand and the other three laughed their heads off.
Chuck Norris failed recess because he dosent play games.
Q: What explorer was the best at Hiding and Seek? A: Marco Polo.
A retiree was given a set of golf clubs by his co-workers. Thinking he'd try the game, he asked the local pro for lessons, explaining that he knew nothing whatever of the game. The pro showed him the stance and swing, then said "Just hit the ball toward the flag on the first green." The novice teed up and smacked the ball straight down the fairway and onto the green, where it stopped inches from the hole. "Now what?" the fellow asked the speechless pro. "Uh... you're supposed to hit the ball into the cup" the pro finally said, after he was able to speak again. The retiree replied, "Oh great! NOW you tell me!"
When Chuck Norris logged in to WoW, everyone logged out.
Q: How do you be pro in clash royale? A: Use rocket and rage spell ladies.