Yo' Mama is so stupid, she took a ladder to a Giants game.
It was tough for me, got caught up: cutting class, drinking, smoking, gambling, raping and pillaging the town. What I'm trying to tell you is the fifth grade was hell for me, alright?
Chuck Norris once won a game of Space Invaders without shooting.
For Chuck Norris, there is no such thing as gambling. He already knows the outcome.
Chuck Norris hates both the player and the game.
If you use Chuck Norris in a game of Rock-Paper-Scissors, you automatically win.
Little Johnny's brother, Little Jimmy, was in the toilet throwing Johnny's toys in the toilet. Johnny saw his brother doing this and yelled "JIMMY! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!" His brother replied "Next time you'll think twice before you don't let me play with you." Little Jimmy threw a toy car in the toilet and said "Bye bye, racecars!" Little Johnny stuck little Jimmy head in the toilet saying "Bye bye brother!"
Two elderly ladies had been friends for many decades. Over the years they had shared all kinds of activities and adventures. Lately, their activities had been limited to playing cards a few times a week. One day when playing cards, one looked at the other and said, “Now don’t get mad at me. I know we’ve been friends a long time, but I just can’t think of your name. I’ve thought and thought, but I can’t remember it. Please tell me what your name is.” Her friend glared at her. For at least three minutes she just stared and glared. Finally she said, “How soon do you need to know?”
When Chuck Norris plays hangman, he decides what the word is.
Q: Did you hear about the leper poker game? A: One guy threw in his hand and the other three laughed their heads off.