Yo mama so stupid I told her I was going to the Super Bowl and she told me not to forget a spoon.
Chuck Norris turns his game off while saving.
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A guy walks into a Raptors bar with a dachshund under his arm.
The dog is wearing a "Toronto Raptors" jersey and helmet, and is festooned with "Raptors" pom-poms.
The bartender says: "Hey! No pets are allowed in here! You'll have to leave!"
The guy begs him: "Look, I'm desperate.
We're both big fans, the TV is broken, and this is the only place around where we can see the game!"
After securing a promise that the dog will behave, and warning him that he and the dog will be thrown out if there's any trouble, the bartender relents and allows them to stay in the bar and watch the game.
The big game begins and Vince Carter does a great slum dunk.
With that the dog jumps up on the bar, and begins walking up and down the bar giving high-fives to everyone.
The bartender says: "Wow, that is the most amazing thing I've ever seen!
What does the dog do if Raptors win?"
The owner replies: "I don't know, I've only had him for a half year."
What do you call a rabbit that plays with foxes?
A dumb bunny.
Why did the basketball player go to jail?
"Because he shot the ball!"
A man comes home after his regular Saturday golf game and his wife asks why he doesn't include Joseph in the games anymore.
The husband asks, "Would you want to play with a guy who regularly cheats, swears up a storm over everything, lies about his score, and has nothing good to say about anyone else on the course?"
"Of course I wouldn't," replies the wife.
"Well," says the husband, "neither would Joseph."
Golfer: "Do you think my game is improving?"
Caddy: "Yes sir, you miss the ball much closer now."
If Chuck Norris was a villian in a video game, you'll never win.
But if he was the hero, it's unplayable; because no one controls Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris can play a PS3 with a Super Nintendo controller, and it works!
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Chuck Norris can play Pokemon Go on his landline.
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