Peter goes golfing every Saturday. One Saturday, he comes home tired and five hours late. His wife asks him, "What took you so long?" Peter says, "That was the worst game of golf I've ever had. We got up to the first tee, and Harry hit a hole-in-one and immediately dropped dead of a heart attack." Peter's wife says, "OMG! That's terrible!" Peter says, "I know. Then, for the rest of the game, it was hit the ball, drag Harry, hit the ball, drag Harry, hit the ball, drag Harry. . ."
Chuck Norris already has Final Fantasy XXI.
Superman and The Flash have a race around the world. Who wins? Chuck Norris.
How do you start a teddy bear race? Ready, teddy, go.
Yo mama so fat that when she played Xbox live you can see her face sticking out of your tv screen.
There are 5 known levels of Super-Saiyan. Achieving the 6th level is known as "Going Chuck Norris."
After football fans in Philadelphia were treated to a particularly excruciating loss earlier in the season, a man phoned a sports-radio talk-show host to say, "Everyone should call in and give one word for that game." "What's your word?" the host replied. "Bored out of my mind," said the caller.
A rookie pitcher was struggling at the mound, so the catcher walked up to have a talk with him. "I've figured out your problem," he told the young southpaw. "You always lose control at the same point in every game." "When is that?" "Right after the National Anthem."
Chuck Norris once won a game of Space Invaders without shooting.
Chuck Norris hates both the player and the game.