Q: How did the elephant destroy the database?
A: His truncate it.
Black holes are where God divided by zero.
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Yah!
Yah who?
Naaah, bro, I prefer google.
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A big party is being held to honor relational database systems and their impact on modern society.
Outside the venue, the host awaits the guests.
The first limousine arrives and out steps Oracle followed by 4 people.
Host: Who have you brought along?
Oracle: I have 4 DBA's in tow. One to install me, one to design the databases, one to administer me, and the other to justify the cost.
A second limo arrives and out steps DB2 followed by 40 people.
Host: Who have you bought along?
DB2: I have 2 DBA's, 2 hardware specialists, and 36 consultants.
A third limo arrives and out steps SQL Server all on his own.
Host: Why haven't you brought anyone?
SQL Server: I didn't bring anyone because I am easy to install and am basically self managing. But I did bring the #sqlhelp Twitter hashtag for when the excrement hits the fan.
20 minutes later, up rushes MySQL, unshaved, hair a mess.
Host: Where have you been MySQL?
MySQL: Sorry, I thought it was February 31st.
POST Server image uploads in android are easy.
E-mail returned to sender, insufficient voltage.
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Q: What will my computer printer warranty cover?
A: Your mouse pad.
If I wanted a warm fuzzy feeling, I'd antialias my graphics!
What kind of doctor fixes broken websites?
A URLologist.
Q: What did one magnet say to the other?
A: I find you very attractive.
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