Chuck Norris only works out once a year... that's about all the gym equipment can take.
When Chuck Norris goes to the gym the treadmill sweats.
Redbull doesn't give you wings. Lat pulldowns do.
I forgot to post on Facebook I was going to the gym. Now this whole workout was a waste of time.
There were two guys at a gym Dan and Mike who hit the showers after a hard morning workout. Dan said to Mike "Hey! Have you heard? That there is a gay guy at our gym today." The Mike looking really curious and replies "Oh? Who do you think he is?" Dan looks at Mike from mid-section to eye level and, says "Let me give you a kiss first before I tell you who."
No time for gym? Please tell me how you watch 3 hours of TV every night.
Do you squat here often?
Yo mama so stupid she though iHop was a gym!
I phoned the local gym and I asked if they could teach me how to do the splits. He said, "How flexible are you?" I said, "I can't make Tuesdays or Thursdays."
A classic Tommy Cooper gag "I said to the Gym instructor "Can you teach me to do the splits?" He said, "How flexible are you?" I said, "I can't make Tuesdays", was fifth.