The best health jokes

I enjoy a glass of wine each night for its health benefits. The other glasses are for my witty comebacks and my flawless dance moves.
Vote: has 67.68 % from 24 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: health, wine
A woman comes up to me and says, "Hey sexy you lost 185 lbs and now you have money." "You wanna be my sugar daddy?" "Nope I'm diabetic!"
Vote: has 66.96 % from 35 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: flirt, health, money, stupid
Cancer gets checked for Chuck Norris.
Vote: has 66.77 % from 31 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: Chuck Norris, health
Two cows are standing in a field. One says to the other "Are you worried about Mad Cow Disease?" The other one says "No, It doesn't worry me, I'm a horse!"
Vote: has 66.71 % from 15 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, health
Patient goes to Doctor, doctor starts looking at him... - Good, good, good... - Doctor, what's good? - Good that I don't have what you have...
Vote: has 66.71 % from 15 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: doctor, health, life
When Chuck Norris first saw Dragon Ball Z he thought it was a series of easy workout videos.
Vote: has 66.46 % from 23 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: Chuck Norris, fitness, health
Two shepherds lean on their crooks at the end of a long day and the first asks the second, "So, how's it going?" The second one sighed and shook his head, "Not good, I can't pay my bills, my health isn't good, my kids don't respect me, and my wife is leaving me." The first replied, "Well, don't lose any sheep over it."
Vote: has 66.46 % from 23 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, health, money, wife
Yo mama so fat when Dracula bit her he said "1 diabete, 2 diabete, 3 diabete".
Vote: has 66.46 % from 23 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: fat, health, Yo mama
One of my friends returned from Afghanistan and I asked him if he is going to the party tomorrow. He said he can't walk.
Vote: has 66.46 % from 70 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: black humor, health, military, party, war
In 1666, Chuck Norris caught the Plague. The Plague learned its lesson, and has stayed away since then.
Vote: has 66.45 % from 19 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: Chuck Norris, health, time


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