The best health jokes

Patient goes to Doctor, doctor starts looking at him... - Good, good, good... - Doctor, what's good? - Good that I don't have what you have...
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has 66.71 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: doctor, health, life
Two medical students were walking along the street when they saw an old man walking with his legs spread apart. He was stiff-legged and walking slowly. One student said to his friend: "I'm sure that poor old man has Peltry Syndrome. Those people walk just like that." The other student says: "No, I don't think so. The old man surely has Zovitzki Syndrome. He walks slowly and his legs are apart, just as we learned in class." Since they couldn't agree they decided to ask the old man. They approached him and one of the students said to him, "We're medical students and couldn't help but notice the way you walk, but we couldn't agree on the syndrome you might have. Could you tell us what it is?" The old man said, "I'll tell you, but first you tell me what you two fine medical students think." The first student said, "I think it's Peltry Syndrome." The old man said, "You thought - but you are wrong." The other student said, "I think you have Zovitzki Syndrome." The old man said, "You thought - but you are wrong." So they asked him, "Well, old timer, what do you have?" The old man said, "I thought it was gas - but I was wrong, too!"
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has 66.64 % from 42 votes. More jokes about: age, health, medical, old people, student
When Chuck Norris first saw Dragon Ball Z he thought it was a series of easy workout videos.
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has 66.46 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, fitness, health
Two shepherds lean on their crooks at the end of a long day and the first asks the second, "So, how's it going?" The second one sighed and shook his head, "Not good, I can't pay my bills, my health isn't good, my kids don't respect me, and my wife is leaving me." The first replied, "Well, don't lose any sheep over it."
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has 66.46 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: animal, health, money, wife
Yo mama so fat when Dracula bit her he said "1 diabete, 2 diabete, 3 diabete".
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has 66.46 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: fat, health, Yo mama
In 1666, Chuck Norris caught the Plague. The Plague learned its lesson, and has stayed away since then.
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has 66.45 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, health, time
In the medical community, death is referred to as "Chuck Norris Disease".
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has 66.45 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death, health
Q: What do you give a sick bird? A: Tweetment!
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has 66.45 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: bird, health, internet
A doctor told his patient that his test results indicated that she had a rare disease and had only six months to live. "That's such a short amount of time, doctor. Isn't there anything I can do?" pleaded the patient. "Marry a lawyer," the doctor advised. "It will be the longest six months of your life."
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has 65.94 % from 79 votes. More jokes about: doctor, health, lawyer, marriage, time
Knock-knock Who is there? A shattered penis with many diseases. What kind of illness? Gall, Aids, Gonorrhea, Syphilis... Enough, it is the best present for my mother in law.
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has 65.61 % from 226 votes. More jokes about: black humor, health, knock-knock, mother in law, vulgar
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