What's the definition of bravery? A man with diarrhea chancing a fart!
In 1996, Florida physical therapist Paul Shimkonis sued his local nudie bar claiming whiplash from a lap dancer's large breasts. Shimkonis felt he suffered physical harm and mental anguish from the breasts, which he claimed felt like "cement blocks" hitting him. Shimkonis sought justice in the amount of $15,000, which was denied.
Yo momma so stupid she thought that doctor pepper could heal her.
Q: Why is it that so many lawyers have broken noses? A: From chasing parked ambulances.
Did you hear about the Easter egg hunt for the Alzheimer's patients? They hid their own eggs!
I enjoy a glass of wine each night for its health benefits. The other glasses are for my witty comebacks and my flawless dance moves.
Q: What sickness do cowboys get from riding wild horses? A: Bronchitis.
I've been taking Viagra for my sunburn. It doesn't cure it but it keeps the bed sheets off my legs at night.
Boy: "Hi, my name is Milk. I'll do your body good." Girl: "Sorry, I'm Lactose intolerant!"
Doctor: "You look much worse than you did last week! I said you should smoke a maximum of five cigarettes a day!" Patient: "And that's what I did. And it wasn't easy because up until now I didn't smoke at all!"