The nose drops „Big smeller" – let´s have a blow-out.
When Chuck Norris gets nominated for the ALS ice bucket challenge, the bucket donates $1000 to ALS research.
One of the benefits of eating healthier is that you never have to ask questions like, "Who ate my kale?"
A study showed the leading causes of death in the United States are: 1. Heart disease 2. Chuck Norris 3. Cancer
Why did the computer get cold? Because it forgot to close windows.
Q: Did you hear about the new Viagra eye-drops? A: Apparently they make you look hard.
Your momma is so ugly when she gets her beauty sleep she falls into a coma!
Two cows were chatting over the fence between their fields. The first cow said, "I tell you, this mad-cow-disease is really pretty scary. They say it is spreading fast; I heard it hit some cows down on the Johnson Farm." The other cow replied, "Hell, I ain't worried, it won't affect us ducks."
Two dyslectic fellas sat in the kitchen... Fella 1: "Ere, can you smell gas?" Fella 2: "Who me? No... I can't even smell my own name!"
Q: What do you call a family full of cancer patients? A: Jason Voorhees' relatives.