The best health jokes

One of the benefits of eating healthier is that you never have to ask questions like, "Who ate my kale?"
Vote:
has 70.84 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: communication, food, health
Two dyslectic fellas sat in the kitchen... Fella 1: "Ere, can you smell gas?" Fella 2: "Who me? No... I can't even smell my own name!"
Vote:
has 70.40 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: communication, friendship, health, stupid
A woman visits the doctor as she has some abdominal pains and suspects she may be pregnant. After her examination, the doctor comes out to see her: "Well, I hope you like changing nappies/diapers". She replies: "Oh my god am I pregnant, am I pregnant!?" To which he responds: "No, you've got bowel cancer."
Vote:
has 69.92 % from 67 votes. More jokes about: black humor, doctor, health
My late grandfather always told me: "When there is a wind in your belly blow it out gently you feel a real comfort then look at the other's faces to see what are their reactions."
Vote:
has 69.85 % from 51 votes. More jokes about: family, fart, health
Yo momma so stupid she thought that doctor pepper could heal her.
Vote:
has 69.55 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: doctor, food, health, stupid, Yo mama
If you are ill, so lie down and you'll walk it sooner loose.
Vote:
has 69.28 % from 46 votes. More jokes about: health
Your momma is so ugly when she gets her beauty sleep she falls into a coma!
Vote:
has 68.72 % from 68 votes. More jokes about: beauty, health, insulting, ugly, Yo mama
Patient goes to Doctor, doctor starts looking at him... - Good, good, good... - Doctor, what's good? - Good that I don't have what you have...
Vote:
has 68.45 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: doctor, health, life
Patient: "Doctor, my son has swallowed a pen. What can I do?" Doctor: "Use a pencil till I come to see your son."
Vote:
has 68.15 % from 63 votes. More jokes about: black humor, doctor, health
In 1666, Chuck Norris caught the Plague. The Plague learned its lesson, and has stayed away since then.
Vote:
has 67.88 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, health, time