The best health jokes

A man went to visit his doctor. “Doc, my arm hurts bad. Can you check it out please?” the man pleads. The doctor rolls up the man’s sleeve and suddenly hears the arm talk. “Hello, Doctor, says the arm. “Could you lend me twenty bucks please? I’m desperate!” “Aha!" says the doctor, "I see the problem. Your arm is broke!”
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has 66.60 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: doctor, health, money
Patient: "Doctor, my son has swallowed a pen. What can I do?" Doctor: "Use a pencil till I come to see your son."
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has 66.50 % from 77 votes. More jokes about: black humor, doctor, health
Girl: "I can't be your valentine for medical reasons." Boy: "Really?" Girl: "Yeah, you make me sick!"
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has 66.46 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: health, medical, Valentines day
Q: What's the hardest part about eating a vegetable? A: Getting her out of the wheelchair.
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has 66.27 % from 73 votes. More jokes about: black humor, food, health
There must be something wrong with my eyes, I can't take them off you.
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has 66.17 % from 59 votes. More jokes about: flirt, health, romantic
A doctor told his patient that his test results indicated that she had a rare disease and had only six months to live. "That's such a short amount of time, doctor. Isn't there anything I can do?" pleaded the patient. "Marry a lawyer," the doctor advised. "It will be the longest six months of your life."
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has 66.15 % from 93 votes. More jokes about: doctor, health, lawyer, marriage, time
Did you hear about the male prostitute who got leprosy? He did okay until his business fell off.
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has 65.80 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: black humor, business, health
Q: What is the difference between an oral and rectal thermometer? A: The taste
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has 65.16 % from 116 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, health
Patient goes to Doctor, doctor starts looking at him... - Good, good, good... - Doctor, what's good? - Good that I don't have what you have...
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has 65.16 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: doctor, health, life
Q: What sickness do cowboys get from riding wild horses? A: Bronchitis.
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has 64.52 % from 46 votes. More jokes about: cowboy, health, horse, medical