Patient: "Doctor, my son has swallowed a pen. What can I do?"
Doctor: "Use a pencil till I come to see your son."
Vote:
Girl: "I can't be your valentine for medical reasons."
Boy: "Really?"
Girl: "Yeah, you make me sick!"
Vote:
Q: What's the hardest part about eating a vegetable?
A: Getting her out of the wheelchair.
Vote:
There must be something wrong with my eyes, I can't take them off you.
A doctor told his patient that his test results indicated that she had a rare disease and had only six months to live.
"That's such a short amount of time, doctor. Isn't there anything I can do?" pleaded the patient.
"Marry a lawyer," the doctor advised. "It will be the longest six months of your life."
Did you hear about the male prostitute who got leprosy?
He did okay until his business fell off.
Vote:
Q: What is the difference between an oral and rectal thermometer?
A: The taste
Vote:
Patient goes to Doctor, doctor starts looking at him...
- Good, good, good...
- Doctor, what's good?
- Good that I don't have what you have...
Q: What sickness do cowboys get from riding wild horses?
A: Bronchitis.
If you are ill, so lie down and you'll walk it sooner loose.