The best hospital jokes

"Jeff, my child, your mother had to stay in the hospital for a few days, cause the stork that brought your baby brother bite her by accident." "Oh, gosh! What a terrible thing to happen to her after such a difficult birth!"
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has 43.90 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: baby, hospital, kids
A blonde, who had just dyed her hair, went to the hospital because her whole body hurt. She told the doctor that where ever she touched herself it would hurt. The doctor told her to demonstrate. She touched her nose and it hurt. She touched her stomach and it hurt. The doctor asked her if she was a blonde and she said yes. "Look Here Lady, your finger is broken!"
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has 41.91 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: blonde, hospital
It is convenient to be near a hospital when you are injured. It is also convenient to insult Chuck Norris while standing in an open grave.
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has 38.74 % from 41 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death, funeral, hospital
A retired man who volunteers to entertain patients in nursing homes and hospitals went to one local hospital in Brooklyn and took his portable keyboard along. He told some jokes and sang some funny songs at patients' bedsides. When he finished he said, in farewell, "I hope you get better." One elderly gentleman replied, "I hope you get better, too."
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has 38.22 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: hospital, nurse, old people
"Where did you born?" "At the hospital!" "Don’t tell me! And what were you in for?"
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has 33.28 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: hospital, kids
What would happen if tarantulas were as big as horses? If one bit you, you could ride it to hospital!
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has 23.34 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: animal, hospital
Yo mama is too black like she was born in a burning hospital.
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has 21.85 % from 74 votes. More jokes about: birthday, black people, hospital, racist, Yo mama
Yo mama so damn ugly,her mom throw her out the hospital window when she was born and said"You ugly ass bitch".
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has 21.13 % from 45 votes. More jokes about: hospital, morbid, ugly, vulgar, Yo mama
"Jeff, my child, your mother had to stay in the hospital for a few days, cause the stork that brought your baby brother bite her by accident." "Oh, gosh! What a terrible thing to happen to her after such a difficult birth!"
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has 20.20 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: hospital, kids
LaShaunda had just given birth to a daughter and discussed possible names with her hospital roommate, LaQoowanga. LaShwanda mentioned a name she had heard in the doctor's office, "Vagina". When the hospital personnel asked her what name to put on the birth certificate, LaShaunda said "Vagina". "You can't name your baby that!" "Don't disrespect me! I be her mama. I can names her anything I want." When the hospital person tried to explained what the name meant, LaShaunda said, "No, No! that's a cootchie!"
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has 13.97 % from 108 votes. More jokes about: baby, disgusting, hospital