The best hospital jokes

A retired man who volunteers to entertain patients in nursing homes and hospitals went to one local hospital in Brooklyn and took his portable keyboard along. He told some jokes and sang some funny songs at patients' bedsides. When he finished he said, in farewell, "I hope you get better." One elderly gentleman replied, "I hope you get better, too."
Vote: has 42.03 % from 18 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: hospital, nurse, old people
"Where did you born?" "At the hospital!" "Don’t tell me! And what were you in for?"
Vote: has 41.84 % from 22 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: hospital, kids
What would happen if tarantulas were as big as horses? If one bit you, you could ride it to hospital!
Vote: has 27.24 % from 18 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, hospital
"Jeff, my child, your mother had to stay in the hospital for a few days, cause the stork that brought your baby brother bite her by accident." "Oh, gosh! What a terrible thing to happen to her after such a difficult birth!"
Vote: has 24.92 % from 8 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: hospital, kids
LaShaunda had just given birth to a daughter and discussed possible names with her hospital roommate, LaQoowanga. LaShwanda mentioned a name she had heard in the doctor's office, "Vagina". When the hospital personnel asked her what name to put on the birth certificate, LaShaunda said "Vagina". "You can't name your baby that!" "Don't disrespect me! I be her mama. I can names her anything I want." When the hospital person tried to explained what the name meant, LaShaunda said, "No, No! that's a cootchie!"
Vote: has 13.52 % from 81 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: baby, disgusting, hospital