What do you call a Scottish iPhone? An AyePhone.
A ragged individual stranded for several months on a small desert island in the middle of the Pacific Ocean one day noticed a bottle lying in the sand with a piece of paper in it. "Due to lack of maintenance," he read, "we regretfully have found it necessary to cancel your e-mail account."
Q: How many Microsoft engineers does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: None, they just declare darkness the standard!
When Nasa first began sending astronauts into space, they were confronted by a small problem. Their standard ballpoint pens would not work in space. They spent a decade and twelve million dollars designing a pen that would work below three hundred degrees, in space, and on glass. Russia used a pencil.
Knock knock! Who's there? Yah! Yah who? Naaah, bro, I prefer google.
Why was the computer tired when he got home? Because he had a hard drive.
A photon checks into a hotel and is asked if he needs any help with his luggage. "No thanks, I'm traveling light."
Why did the computer get cold? Because it forgot to close windows.