I keep hitting “escape”, but I’m still here.
A Microsoft support technician goes to a firing range. He shoots ten bullets at the target 50m away. The supervisors check the target and see that there’s not even a single hit. They shout to him that he missed completely. The technician tells them to recheck, and gets the same answer. The technician then aims the gun at his finger and shoots, blasting it off. He shouts back, ‘It’s working fine here! The problem must be at your end!’
I dropped my laptop into the ocean the other day. Now I have a Dell rolling in the deep.
Q: How many Microsoft engineers does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: None, they just declare darkness the standard!
HR manager to job candidate: ‘I see you’ve had no computer training. Although that qualifies you for upper management, it means you’re under-qualified for our entry level positions.’
Q: How did the elephant destroy the database? A: His truncate it.
Q: How many Object Oriented programmers does it take to change a lightbulb? A: None, they send it a message, and it changes itself.
UNIX is basically a simple operating system, but you have to be a genius to understand the simplicity.
Linux is like wigwam: no Gates, no Windows and Apache inside.
A blonde girl enters a store that sells curtains. She tells the salesman, “I would like to buy a pink curtain in the size of my computer screen.” The surprised salesman replies, “But, madam, computers do not have curtains.” And the blonde said, “Helloooo…. I’ve got Windows!”