How do you keep a programmer in the shower all day? Give him a bottle of shampoo which says "lather, rinse, repeat."
Q: Why did the programmer quit his job? A: Because he didn't get arrays.
My software never has bugs. It just develops random features.
What was Forrest Gump's email password? 1forrest1
I think Chuck Norris is fake cuz if he were real he'd come right now and smash my face into my keyboaraoebdbfjvjdblgoirugsvdkf
I keep hitting “escape”, but I’m still here.
Q: What does an SEO and part-time chiropractor work on? A: Your bad backlinks.
What does a network administrator say when he gets back to home from work ? There’s no place like 127.0.0.1!
A Microsoft support technician goes to a firing range. He shoots ten bullets at the target 50m away. The supervisors check the target and see that there’s not even a single hit. They shout to him that he missed completely. The technician tells them to recheck, and gets the same answer. The technician then aims the gun at his finger and shoots, blasting it off. He shouts back, ‘It’s working fine here! The problem must be at your end!’
Angry geek dad shouted to kid, "End of discussion; Semicolon;"