Computers are like air conditioners.
They work fine until you start opening windows.
Linux is like wigwam: no Gates, no Windows and Apache inside.
Vote:
Me: Siri, why am I alone?
Siri: *opens front facing camera*
Before Instagram, I used to waste so much time sitting around having to imagine what my friends' food looked like.
Vote:
A photon checks into a hotel and is asked if he needs any help with his luggage.
"No thanks, I'm traveling light."
A SQL query goes into a bar, walks up to two tables and asks, "Can I join you?"
Vote:
Our staff has completed the 3 years of work on time and under budget.
We have gone through every line of code in every program in every system.
We have analyzed all databases, all data files, including backups and historic archives, and modified all data to reflect the change.
We are proud to report that we have completed the "Y-to-K" date change mission, and have now implemented all changes to all programs and all data to reflect the following new standards:
Januark, Februark, March, April, Mak, June, Julk, August, September, October, November, December and...
Sundak, Mondak, Tuesdak, Wednesdak, Thursdak, Fridak, Saturdak
I trust that this is satisfactory, because to be honest, none of this Y-to-K problem has made any sense to me.
But I understand it is a global problem, and our team is glad to help in any way possible.And what does the year 2000 have to do with it?
Speaking of which, what do you think we ought to do next year when the two digit year rolls over from 99 to 00?
We await your direction.
Vote:
Q: How many Microsoft engineers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: None, they just declare darkness the standard!
Vote:
When Nasa first began sending astronauts into space, they were confronted by a small problem.
Their standard ballpoint pens would not work in space.
They spent a decade and twelve million dollars designing a pen that would work below three hundred degrees, in space, and on glass.
Russia used a pencil.
Why is Apple offering a free case for all iPhone 6 buyers?
It doesn't help with reception, but protects the iPhone when you throw it against the wall after dropping another call!