The box said "Requires Windows Vista or better". So I installed LINUX.
I never thought that the Internet was very useful, but now I've changed my mind. Let's hope your new one works better than the one you had before.
How do you keep a programmer in the shower all day? Give him a bottle of shampoo which says "lather, rinse, repeat."
Q: Which Bible character had no parents? A: Joshua, son of Nun (Joshua 1:1).
What does a network administrator say when he gets back to home from work ? There’s no place like 127.0.0.1!
A physicist, an engineer and a programmer were in a car driving over a steep alpine pass when the brakes failed. The car was getting faster and faster, they were struggling to get round the corners and once or twice only the feeble crash barrier saved them from crashing down the side of the mountain. They were sure they were all going to die, when suddenly they spotted an escape lane. They pulled into the escape lane, and came safely to a halt. The physicist said "We need to model the friction in the brake pads and the resultant temperature rise, see if we can work out why they failed". The engineer said "I think I've got a few spanners in the back. I'll take a look and see if I can work out what's wrong". The programmer said "Why don't we get going again and see if it's reproducible?"
Q: Why do Java programmers have to wear glasses? A: Because they don't C#.
I keep hitting “escape”, but I’m still here.
Caller: Hey, can you help me? My computer has locked up, and no matter how many times I type eleven, it won’t unfreeze. Agent: What do you mean, “type eleven?” Caller: The message on my screen says, “Error Type 11!”
Google is setting up a new search engine to answer life's difficult and most complex questions with the response always being the same... Chuck Norris.