Chuck Norris' Internet connection is faster upstream than downstream because even data has more incentive to run from him than to him.
I keep hitting “escape”, but I’m still here.
What does a network administrator say when he gets back to home from work ? There’s no place like 127.0.0.1!
Q: How many Object Oriented programmers does it take to change a lightbulb? A: None, they send it a message, and it changes itself.
Caller: Hey, can you help me? My computer has locked up, and no matter how many times I type eleven, it won’t unfreeze. Agent: What do you mean, “type eleven?” Caller: The message on my screen says, “Error Type 11!”
Knock knock! Who's there? Yah! Yah who? Naaah, bro, I prefer google.
Life is too short to remove USB safely.
What do you call a Scottish iPhone? An AyePhone.
A ragged individual stranded for several months on a small desert island in the middle of the Pacific Ocean one day noticed a bottle lying in the sand with a piece of paper in it. "Due to lack of maintenance," he read, "we regretfully have found it necessary to cancel your e-mail account."
Who needs rocks? Windows breaks itself...