What do you call a Scottish iPhone? An AyePhone.
I keep hitting “escape”, but I’m still here.
Why was the computer tired when he got home? Because he had a hard drive.
Why did the computer get cold? Because it forgot to close windows.
When Nasa first began sending astronauts into space, they were confronted by a small problem. Their standard ballpoint pens would not work in space. They spent a decade and twelve million dollars designing a pen that would work below three hundred degrees, in space, and on glass. Russia used a pencil.
Who needs rocks? Windows breaks itself...
A Microsoft support technician goes to a firing range. He shoots ten bullets at the target 50m away. The supervisors check the target and see that there’s not even a single hit. They shout to him that he missed completely. The technician tells them to recheck, and gets the same answer. The technician then aims the gun at his finger and shoots, blasting it off. He shouts back, ‘It’s working fine here! The problem must be at your end!’
Knock knock! Who's there? Yah! Yah who? Naaah, bro, I prefer google.
Caller: Hey, can you help me? My computer has locked up, and no matter how many times I type eleven, it won’t unfreeze. Agent: What do you mean, “type eleven?” Caller: The message on my screen says, “Error Type 11!”
Q: How many Microsoft engineers does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: None, they just declare darkness the standard!