Q: What's object-oriented way to become wealthy? A: Inheritance.
Your mama so stupid she bought tickets to Xbox Live.
Caller: Hey, can you help me? My computer has locked up, and no matter how many times I type eleven, it won’t unfreeze. Agent: What do you mean, “type eleven?” Caller: The message on my screen says, “Error Type 11!”
A Microsoft support technician goes to a firing range. He shoots ten bullets at the target 50m away. The supervisors check the target and see that there’s not even a single hit. They shout to him that he missed completely. The technician tells them to recheck, and gets the same answer. The technician then aims the gun at his finger and shoots, blasting it off. He shouts back, ‘It’s working fine here! The problem must be at your end!’
A rather obese man is very excited about his new job and wants to start work immediately. However, when he sits down at his computer, the only program installed was spreadsheets. Confused, the man calls over his boss and asks:"Why there is only excel installed on this computer?" His boss replies, "It was the only program in your size!"
90% of programmer errors come from data from other programmers.
What do you call a Scottish iPhone? An AyePhone.
Why was the computer tired when he got home? Because he had a hard drive.
A photon checks into a hotel and is asked if he needs any help with his luggage. "No thanks, I'm traveling light."