Q: What do computers and air conditions have in common? A: They're both become useless when you open windows.
My software never has bugs. It just develops random features.
Q: How many Microsoft executives does it take to change a light bulb? A: We can see no need for uninstallation and have therefore made no provision for light bulbs to be removed.
"Have you got the address of the butter website?" "Yes, but don't spread it around."
Chuck Norris can access private methods.
Linux is like wigwam: no Gates, no Windows and Apache inside.
Angry geek dad shouted to kid, "End of discussion; Semicolon;"
A rather obese man is very excited about his new job and wants to start work immediately. However, when he sits down at his computer, the only program installed was spreadsheets. Confused, the man calls over his boss and asks:"Why there is only excel installed on this computer?" His boss replies, "It was the only program in your size!"
Before Instagram, I used to waste so much time sitting around having to imagine what my friends' food looked like.
A press release: "Yesterday, for the first time a hacker was convicted of network penetration and went to jail to serve a 12 years sentence. According to the data of the central computer of the police, the hacker goes to liberty the day after tomorrow because of expiration of the sentence."