The best IT jokes

A new army computer is put through its paces. An officer types in a question, ‘How far is it from the barrack gate to the armoury?’ The computer replies, ‘Seven hundred.’ The officer types, ‘Seven hundred what?’ The computer replies, ‘Seven hundred, sir!’
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Q: What deodorant do SEO consultants wear? A: Lynx
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More jokes about: communication, internet, IT, technology, work
Programmers: See one warning, fixes warning. Compiles... See two errors, fixes errors. Compiles... See 83 errors, pitches computer.
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More jokes about: coding, computer, IT, technology, work
Q: What do you call a programmer from Finland? A: Nerdic.
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More jokes about: IT, nerd, programmer
I provide technical support for the computer software published by my company. One day, over the phone, I was helping a customer install a product on a Macintosh. The procedure required him to delete an old file. On the Mac, there is an icon of a trash can that is used to collect items to be permanently deleted. I told the customer to click on the old file and drag it to the trash. Then I had him perform a few other steps. As a reminder, I said, "Don't forget to empty the trash." Obediently he replied, "Yes, dear."
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More jokes about: communication, customer service, IT, marriage, technology
Q: How many Microsoft engineers does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: None, they just declare darkness the standard!
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More jokes about: computer, IT, light bulb, technology
A press release: "Yesterday, for the first time a hacker was convicted of network penetration and went to jail to serve a 12 years sentence. According to the data of the central computer of the police, the hacker goes to liberty the day after tomorrow because of expiration of the sentence."
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More jokes about: computer, internet, IT, prison, time
It was reported this week that Google would soon launch its own cellphone as a challenge to the iPhone. Also a challenge to the iPhone? Making phone calls.
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More jokes about: IT, phone, technology
Knock knock! Who's there? Yah! Yah who? Naaah, bro, I prefer google.
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More jokes about: geek, IT, knock-knock
A Microsoft support technician goes to a firing range. He shoots ten bullets at the target 50m away. The supervisors check the target and see that there’s not even a single hit. They shout to him that he missed completely. The technician tells them to recheck, and gets the same answer. The technician then aims the gun at his finger and shoots, blasting it off. He shouts back, ‘It’s working fine here! The problem must be at your end!’
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