Have you heard about the Viagra computer virus?
It turns your 3 1/2 inch floppy into a hard disk.
A physicist, an engineer and a programmer were in a car driving over a steep alpine pass when the brakes failed.
The car was getting faster and faster, they were struggling to get round the corners and once or twice only the feeble crash barrier saved them from crashing down the side of the mountain.
They were sure they were all going to die, when suddenly they spotted an escape lane.
They pulled into the escape lane, and came safely to a halt.
The physicist said "We need to model the friction in the brake pads and the resultant temperature rise, see if we can work out why they failed".
The engineer said "I think I've got a few spanners in the back. I'll take a look and see if I can work out what's wrong".
The programmer said "Why don't we get going again and see if it's reproducible?"
Much like Apple products, I also, am only compatible with myself.
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What do you call a Scottish iPhone?
An AyePhone.
How many Microsoft programmers does it take to start the November 5th bonfire?
Zero Microsoft declares darkness to be a new standard.
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Q: Why did the bodybuilder buy tape from the hardware store?
A: Somebody told him he was ripped!
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The biggest SEO problem with trampoline websites is the high user bounce rate!
A businessman is invited for an audience with the Pope but finds it clashes with a meeting he has with Bill Gates.
The businessman asks his secretary which appointment he should go to.
‘Definitely the Pope,’ replies the secretary.
‘He’ll only expect you to kiss his hand.’
A printer consists of three main parts: the case, the jammed paper tray and the blinking red light.
Q: How many Microsoft executives does it take to change a light bulb?
A: We can see no need for uninstallation and have therefore made no provision for light bulbs to be removed.
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