Angry geek dad shouted to kid, "End of discussion; Semicolon;"
A rather obese man is very excited about his new job and wants to start work immediately. However, when he sits down at his computer, the only program installed was spreadsheets. Confused, the man calls over his boss and asks:"Why there is only excel installed on this computer?" His boss replies, "It was the only program in your size!"
Before Instagram, I used to waste so much time sitting around having to imagine what my friends' food looked like.
Chuck Norris's programs can pass the Turing Test by staring at the interrogator.
Chuck Norris doesn't use GUI, he prefers the command line.
A photon checks into a hotel and is asked if he needs any help with his luggage. "No thanks, I'm traveling light."
Q: What do computers and air conditions have in common? A: They're both become useless when you open windows.
Computers are like air conditioners. They work fine until you start opening windows.
Why is Apple offering a free case for all iPhone 6 buyers? It doesn't help with reception, but protects the iPhone when you throw it against the wall after dropping another call!
Q: How did the elephant destroy the database? A: His truncate it.