Computers are like air conditioners. They work fine until you start opening windows.
Why is Apple offering a free case for all iPhone 6 buyers? It doesn't help with reception, but protects the iPhone when you throw it against the wall after dropping another call!
Q: What do you call a programmer from Finland? A: Nerdic.
A blonde girl enters a store that sells curtains. She tells the salesman, “I would like to buy a pink curtain in the size of my computer screen.” The surprised salesman replies, “But, madam, computers do not have curtains.” And the blonde said, “Helloooo…. I’ve got Windows!”
Linux is like wigwam: no Gates, no Windows and Apache inside.
A press release: "Yesterday, for the first time a hacker was convicted of network penetration and went to jail to serve a 12 years sentence. According to the data of the central computer of the police, the hacker goes to liberty the day after tomorrow because of expiration of the sentence."
My software never has bugs. It just develops random features.
Chuck Norris can install a 64 bit OS on 32 bit machines.
Chuck Norris can access private methods.
If I wanted a warm fuzzy feeling, I'd antialias my graphics!