The best IT jokes

A Microsoft support technician goes to a firing range. He shoots ten bullets at the target 50m away. The supervisors check the target and see that there’s not even a single hit. They shout to him that he missed completely. The technician tells them to recheck, and gets the same answer. The technician then aims the gun at his finger and shoots, blasting it off. He shouts back, ‘It’s working fine here! The problem must be at your end!’
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Why did the computer get cold? Because it forgot to close windows.
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Q: How many Microsoft executives does it take to change a light bulb? A: We can see no need for uninstallation and have therefore made no provision for light bulbs to be removed.
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A rather obese man is very excited about his new job and wants to start work immediately. However, when he sits down at his computer, the only program installed was spreadsheets. Confused, the man calls over his boss and asks:"Why there is only excel installed on this computer?" His boss replies, "It was the only program in your size!"
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Before Instagram, I used to waste so much time sitting around having to imagine what my friends' food looked like.
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A photon checks into a hotel and is asked if he needs any help with his luggage. "No thanks, I'm traveling light."
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Computers are like air conditioners. They work fine until you start opening windows.
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Q: How did the elephant destroy the database? A: His truncate it.
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When Nasa first began sending astronauts into space, they were confronted by a small problem. Their standard ballpoint pens would not work in space. They spent a decade and twelve million dollars designing a pen that would work below three hundred degrees, in space, and on glass. Russia used a pencil.
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Q: Why did the bodybuilder buy tape from the hardware store? A: Somebody told him he was ripped!
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More jokes about: communication, fitness, IT