The best IT jokes

I had a programming problem and decided to use regular expressions to solve it. Now I have two problems.
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has 76.89 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: coding, IT, programmer
I would love to change the world, but they won't give me the source code.
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has 76.73 % from 83 votes. More jokes about: coding, computer, geek, IT, life
Yo mama so stupid, the password needed 8 characters, so she put Snow white and the 7 dwarves.
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has 76.54 % from 228 votes. More jokes about: IT, stupid, Yo mama
A group of computer science geeks were listening to a lecture about Java programming at a university. After the lecture, one of the men leaned over and grabbed a woman’s breast. Woman: Hey! That’s private OK ? The man hesitated for a second looking confused. Man: But I thought we were in the same class.
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has 76.34 % from 155 votes. More jokes about: geek, IT, programmer
An artist, a lawyer, and a programmer are discussing the merits of a mistress. The artist tells of the passion, the thrill which comes with the risk of being discovered. The lawyer warns of the difficulties. It can lead to guilt, divorce and bankruptcy. The programmer says, ‘It’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me. My wife thinks I’m with my mistress. My mistress thinks I’m home with my wife, and I can spend all night on the computer!’
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has 76.27 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: IT
A Man from the toilet shouts to his wife : Darling, darling, do you hear me?!!!! What happened, did you run out of toilet paper? No, restart the router, please!
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has 75.93 % from 185 votes. More jokes about: IT, wife
Two computers in the same LAN chatting one night: PC1: I was having a nightmare last night, it was so horrible. PC2: Why, what did you dream about ? PC1: I was sleeping, dreaming 0 1 1 0 1 0 0 0 1 0 when all of a sudden a 2 popped up!
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has 75.91 % from 138 votes. More jokes about: computer, IT
Q: How many Object Oriented programmers does it take to change a lightbulb? A: None, they send it a message, and it changes itself.
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has 75.66 % from 49 votes. More jokes about: IT, light bulb, programmer
God called Bill Clinton, Boris Yeltsin and Bill Gates to come to a conference. And when they were all there, God said, "I've got good news and I've got bad news. The bad news is that I'm really fed up with the way things are on Earth; so, I've decided to destroy it. The good news is that I'm giving you one week's notice." So, Bill Clinton called into session the joint houses of Congress and announced, "I've got good news and I've got bad news. The good news is there is a God. The bad news is that he's going to destroy the Earth in one week." Boris Yeltsin called into session the Communist Party and announced, "I've got bad news and worse news. The bad news is that there is a God after all. And the worse news is that he's going to destroy the Earth in one week." Bill Gates called all of his programmers, marketing experts and administrators together and announced, "I've got good news and I've got better news. The good news is that God thinks I'm one of the three most important men on Earth. The better news is that we don't have to fix Windows 95."
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has 75.60 % from 74 votes. More jokes about: god, IT, political
Dave took Mary out for a romantic dinner where conversation turned to the subject of marriage. Dave had been saving for an engagement ring, but he was in graduate school and in dire need of a new computer. Mary was understanding, telling Dave they had the rest of their lives to get engaged, so he should use his savings to buy a computer instead. During dessert, Dave suddenly reached into his pocket and pulled out an engagement ring. Mary was stunned, but after she collected herself, she looked up and prompted: "Well, don't you have something to ask me?" Dave then got down on bended knee. "Honey," he said, "Will you buy me a new computer?"
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has 75.54 % from 182 votes. More jokes about: computer, food, IT, marriage, romantic
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