The best IT jokes

How can you tell which one of your friends has the new iPhone 6 plus? Don't worry, they'll let you know.
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has 78.22 % from 89 votes. More jokes about: IT, phone, technology
Me: Siri, why am I alone? Siri: *opens front facing camera*
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has 78.15 % from 105 votes. More jokes about: IT, phone
Satan greets him: "Welcome Mr. Gates, we've been waiting for you. This will be your home for all eternity. You've been selfish, greedy and a big liar all your life. Now, since you've got me in a good mood, I'll be generous and give you a choice of three places in which you'll be locked up forever. Satan takes Bill to a huge lake of fire in which millions of poor souls are tormented and tortured. He then takes him to a massive coliseum where thousands of people are chased about and devoured by starving lions. Finally, he takes Bill to a tiny room in which there is a bottle of the finest wine sitting on a table. To Bill's delight, he sees a PC in the corner. Without hesitation, Bill says "I'll take this option." "Fine," says Satan, allowing Bill to enter the room. Satan locks the room after Bill. As he turns around, he bumps into Lucifer. "That was Bill Gates!" cried Lucifer. "Why did you give him the best place of all!" "That's what everyone thinks" snickered Satan. "The bottle has a hole in it!" "What about the PC?" "It's got Windows 95!" laughed Satan. "And it's missing three keys," "Which three?" "Control, Alt and Delete."
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has 77.73 % from 160 votes. More jokes about: computer, geek, IT, life, vulgar
Home is where the wifi connects automatically.
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has 77.54 % from 102 votes. More jokes about: IT
Why use Linux: No Windows, no Gates, no Bill to pay.
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has 77.53 % from 42 votes. More jokes about: computer, geek, IT, money, technology
I provide technical support for the computer software published by my company. One day, over the phone, I was helping a customer install a product on a Macintosh. The procedure required him to delete an old file. On the Mac, there is an icon of a trash can that is used to collect items to be permanently deleted. I told the customer to click on the old file and drag it to the trash. Then I had him perform a few other steps. As a reminder, I said, "Don't forget to empty the trash." Obediently he replied, "Yes, dear."
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has 77.53 % from 42 votes. More jokes about: communication, customer service, IT, marriage, technology
Bill Gates is at the beach when he discovers a bottle, he opens it and a Genie appears. The Genie says, "I have been trapped for 1000 years. As a reward you can make a wish." Gates thinks about it as he carries the bottle back to his beach cottage. Once there, he goes to a bookshelf, pulls out an atlas and turns to a map of the Middle East. This area has seen conflict and suffering for hundreds of years. What I wish for is peace in the Middle East. The Genie replies, "I don't know I can do a lot, but this? Don't you have another wish?" Bill Gates thinks and finally says, OK. The whole world hates Microsoft because we have conquered the software market and because Windows still crashes. I wish you would make everybody love us. The Genie says, "Let me see that map again."
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has 77.46 % from 158 votes. More jokes about: genie, IT
There are 2 types of people in the world. Those that can extrapolate from incomplete data
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has 77.37 % from 96 votes. More jokes about: IT
What's an extroverted IT professional? One who looks at your shoes while he's talking to you, instead of his own.
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has 76.67 % from 98 votes. More jokes about: IT, programmer
Q: Why do Java programmers have to wear glasses? A: Because they don't C#.
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has 76.53 % from 72 votes. More jokes about: coding, IT, nerd, programmer, technology
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