The best IT jokes

I would love to change the world, but they won't give me the source code.
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has 77.83 % from 71 votes. More jokes about: coding, computer, geek, IT, life
Yo mama is so stupid that she bought curtains for her computer just because it had Windows.
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has 77.67 % from 195 votes. More jokes about: IT, stupid, Yo mama
An artist, a lawyer, and a programmer are discussing the merits of a mistress. The artist tells of the passion, the thrill which comes with the risk of being discovered. The lawyer warns of the difficulties. It can lead to guilt, divorce and bankruptcy. The programmer says, ‘It’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me. My wife thinks I’m with my mistress. My mistress thinks I’m home with my wife, and I can spend all night on the computer!’
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has 77.50 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: IT
Bill Gates is at the beach when he discovers a bottle, he opens it and a Genie appears. The Genie says, "I have been trapped for 1000 years. As a reward you can make a wish." Gates thinks about it as he carries the bottle back to his beach cottage. Once there, he goes to a bookshelf, pulls out an atlas and turns to a map of the Middle East. This area has seen conflict and suffering for hundreds of years. What I wish for is peace in the Middle East. The Genie replies, "I don't know I can do a lot, but this? Don't you have another wish?" Bill Gates thinks and finally says, OK. The whole world hates Microsoft because we have conquered the software market and because Windows still crashes. I wish you would make everybody love us. The Genie says, "Let me see that map again."
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has 77.49 % from 143 votes. More jokes about: genie, IT
Four surgeons were taking a coffee break and were discussing their work. The first said, "I think accountants are the easiest to operate on. You open them up and everything inside is numbered." The second said, "I think librarians are the easiest to operate on. You open them up and everything inside is in alphabetical order." The third said, "I like to operate on electricians. You open them up and everything inside is color-coded." The fourth surgeon said, "I like technicians...they always understand when you have a few parts left over at the end..."
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has 77.47 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: IT
Home is where the wifi connects automatically.
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has 77.43 % from 91 votes. More jokes about: IT
Yo mama so stupid, the password needed 8 characters, so she put Snow white and the 7 dwarves.
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has 77.33 % from 182 votes. More jokes about: IT, stupid, Yo mama
3 Database SQL walked into a NoSQL bar. A little while later they walked out because they couldn't find a table.
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has 77.02 % from 63 votes. More jokes about: bar, coding, geek, IT, nerd
What's an extroverted IT professional? One who looks at your shoes while he's talking to you, instead of his own.
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has 76.91 % from 94 votes. More jokes about: IT, programmer
A Computer Engineer was asked by his five-year-old son: "Dad, what is Windows 95?" "Well, it’s 32-bit extensions and a graphical shell for a 16-bit patch to an 8-bit operating system originally coded for a 4-bit microprocessor, written by a 2-bit company that can't stand 1 bit of competition."
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has 76.81 % from 226 votes. More jokes about: age, computer, dad, IT, programmer
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