The best IT jokes

Q: Why do Java programmers have to wear glasses? A: Because they don't C#.
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has 75.95 % from 60 votes. More jokes about: coding, IT, nerd, programmer, technology
You know, I have Google+, Facebook, Twitter, Skype accounts... Man, and do you have life? OMG, No! Could you send me a link?
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has 75.62 % from 327 votes. More jokes about: Facebook, IT, life, technology
Dave took Mary out for a romantic dinner where conversation turned to the subject of marriage. Dave had been saving for an engagement ring, but he was in graduate school and in dire need of a new computer. Mary was understanding, telling Dave they had the rest of their lives to get engaged, so he should use his savings to buy a computer instead. During dessert, Dave suddenly reached into his pocket and pulled out an engagement ring. Mary was stunned, but after she collected herself, she looked up and prompted: "Well, don't you have something to ask me?" Dave then got down on bended knee. "Honey," he said, "Will you buy me a new computer?"
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has 75.16 % from 161 votes. More jokes about: computer, food, IT, marriage, romantic
I put so much more effort into naming my first Wi-Fi than my first child.
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has 74.83 % from 62 votes. More jokes about: internet, IT, kids, mean, technology
Your Momma is so fat, she takes her picture with Google Earth.
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has 74.80 % from 95 votes. More jokes about: fat, insulting, IT, technology, Yo mama
My software never has bugs. It just develops random features.
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has 74.43 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: coding, geek, IT
A psychiatrist had no patients in his office and he was bored. Suddenly , the door opened slowly and a man crept into the room on four legs. His mouth was full with pieces of colored plastic. He was holding strange objects in his hands. He was dragging cables along behind himself. The doctor was glad because of the visit and exclaimed, "And what do we have here, a little snake? Come to Uncle Doctor, my snake..." The man shook his head. "Oh, sorry, I didn't notice your legs. You're a dragon, right?" The man shook his head again angrily. "Sorry... a worm?" The visitor spitted out the plastic pieces. "Go to hell, you idiot! I'm the system administrator and I came to change your LAN cable!"
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has 74.21 % from 79 votes. More jokes about: animal, computer, doctor, IT, programmer
Programming is like sex. One mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life.
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has 73.62 % from 363 votes. More jokes about: IT, life, programmer, sex
Computer users are divided into three types: novice, intermediate and expert. Novice users: people who are afraid that simply pressing a key might break their computer. Intermediate users: people who don’t know how to fix their computer after they’ve just pressed a key that broke it. Expert users: people who break other people’s computers.
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has 73.44 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: IT
A SQL query goes into a bar, walks up to two tables and asks, "Can I join you?"
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has 73.12 % from 123 votes. More jokes about: bar, IT, programmer