The best IT jokes

Two programmers after work, talking in a pub: "You will never believe me when I tell you what happened to me yesterday. I met a very nice blonde in a bar." - And what did you do ? "I invited her to my place, we had some drinks and then the girl asked me to undress her." "Are you kidding me ? And what did you do then?" "I got her blouse and her dress off and then i got her to sit on my office, right next to my new laptop." "Oh, you got a new laptop. What model and what are its specifications?"
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has 75.39 % from 199 votes. More jokes about: bar, IT, office, programmer, women
You know, I have Google+, Facebook, Twitter, Skype accounts... Man, and do you have life? OMG, No! Could you send me a link?
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has 75.27 % from 353 votes. More jokes about: Facebook, IT, life, technology
My software never has bugs. It just develops random features.
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has 74.94 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: coding, geek, IT
3 Database SQL walked into a NoSQL bar. A little while later they walked out because they couldn't find a table.
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has 73.89 % from 87 votes. More jokes about: bar, coding, geek, IT, nerd
Q: Why did the programmer quit his job? A: Because he didn't get arrays.
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has 73.53 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: IT, money, programmer, work
A new army computer is put through its paces. An officer types in a question, ‘How far is it from the barrack gate to the armoury?’ The computer replies, ‘Seven hundred.’ The officer types, ‘Seven hundred what?’ The computer replies, ‘Seven hundred, sir!’
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has 73.44 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: IT
Programming is like sex. One mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life.
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has 73.11 % from 376 votes. More jokes about: IT, life, programmer, sex
How do you keep a programmer in the shower all day? Give him a bottle of shampoo which says "lather, rinse, repeat."
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has 72.95 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: IT
UNIX is basically a simple operating system, but you have to be a genius to understand the simplicity.
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has 72.95 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: coding, computer, geek, IT, programmer
1998: Don't get in the car with strangers. 2008: Don't meet people from the internet. 2018: Order yourself a stranger to get in the car with from the internet. (Uber)
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has 72.39 % from 82 votes. More jokes about: IT, time