The best IT jokes

3 Database SQL walked into a NoSQL bar. A little while later they walked out because they couldn't find a table.
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has 74.71 % from 90 votes. More jokes about: bar, coding, geek, IT, nerd
Q: Why did the programmer quit his job? A: Because he didn't get arrays.
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has 74.43 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: IT, money, programmer, work
Dave took Mary out for a romantic dinner where conversation turned to the subject of marriage. Dave had been saving for an engagement ring, but he was in graduate school and in dire need of a new computer. Mary was understanding, telling Dave they had the rest of their lives to get engaged, so he should use his savings to buy a computer instead. During dessert, Dave suddenly reached into his pocket and pulled out an engagement ring. Mary was stunned, but after she collected herself, she looked up and prompted: "Well, don't you have something to ask me?" Dave then got down on bended knee. "Honey," he said, "Will you buy me a new computer?"
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has 74.27 % from 190 votes. More jokes about: computer, food, IT, marriage, romantic
A new army computer is put through its paces. An officer types in a question, ‘How far is it from the barrack gate to the armoury?’ The computer replies, ‘Seven hundred.’ The officer types, ‘Seven hundred what?’ The computer replies, ‘Seven hundred, sir!’
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has 73.44 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: IT
Programming is like sex. One mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life.
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has 73.11 % from 376 votes. More jokes about: IT, life, programmer, sex
How do you keep a programmer in the shower all day? Give him a bottle of shampoo which says "lather, rinse, repeat."
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has 72.95 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: IT
UNIX is basically a simple operating system, but you have to be a genius to understand the simplicity.
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has 72.95 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: coding, computer, geek, IT, programmer
Whoever stole my copy of Microsoft Office. I will find you. You have my Word.
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has 72.95 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: IT
Q: What's object-oriented way to become wealthy? A: Inheritance.
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has 72.80 % from 48 votes. More jokes about: coding, IT, nerd
Your Momma is so fat, she takes her picture with Google Earth.
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has 72.78 % from 113 votes. More jokes about: fat, insulting, IT, technology, Yo mama