The best IT jokes

Q: Why did the programmer quit his job? A: Because he didn't get arrays.
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has 74.43 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: IT, money, programmer, work
Whoever stole my copy of Microsoft Office. I will find you. You have my Word.
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has 74.20 % from 46 votes. More jokes about: IT
I provide technical support for the computer software published by my company. One day, over the phone, I was helping a customer install a product on a Macintosh. The procedure required him to delete an old file. On the Mac, there is an icon of a trash can that is used to collect items to be permanently deleted. I told the customer to click on the old file and drag it to the trash. Then I had him perform a few other steps. As a reminder, I said, "Don't forget to empty the trash." Obediently he replied, "Yes, dear."
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has 73.80 % from 50 votes. More jokes about: communication, customer service, IT, marriage, technology
UNIX is basically a simple operating system, but you have to be a genius to understand the simplicity.
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has 73.56 % from 40 votes. More jokes about: coding, computer, geek, IT, programmer
An artist, a lawyer, and a programmer are discussing the merits of a mistress. The artist tells of the passion, the thrill which comes with the risk of being discovered. The lawyer warns of the difficulties. It can lead to guilt, divorce and bankruptcy. The programmer says, ‘It’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me. My wife thinks I’m with my mistress. My mistress thinks I’m home with my wife, and I can spend all night on the computer!’
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has 73.48 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: IT
My software never has bugs. It just develops random features.
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has 73.48 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: coding, geek, IT
A new army computer is put through its paces. An officer types in a question, ‘How far is it from the barrack gate to the armoury?’ The computer replies, ‘Seven hundred.’ The officer types, ‘Seven hundred what?’ The computer replies, ‘Seven hundred, sir!’
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has 73.44 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: IT
Programming is like sex. One mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life.
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has 73.11 % from 380 votes. More jokes about: IT, life, programmer, sex
Your Momma is so fat, she takes her picture with Google Earth.
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has 73.01 % from 114 votes. More jokes about: fat, insulting, IT, technology, Yo mama
How do you keep a programmer in the shower all day? Give him a bottle of shampoo which says "lather, rinse, repeat."
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has 72.95 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: IT