How do you keep a programmer in the shower all day?
Give him a bottle of shampoo which says "lather, rinse, repeat."
I had a programming problem and decided to use regular expressions to solve it.
Now I have two problems.
Vote:
Why is Apple offering a free case for all iPhone 6 buyers?
It doesn't help with reception, but protects the iPhone when you throw it against the wall after dropping another call!
A Man from the toilet shouts to his wife :
Darling, darling, do you hear me?!!!!
What happened, did you run out of toilet paper?
No, restart the router, please!
Computers are like air conditioners.
They work fine until you start opening windows.
A Microsoft support technician goes to a firing range.
He shoots ten bullets at the target 50m away.
The supervisors check the target and see that there’s not even a single hit.
They shout to him that he missed completely.
The technician tells them to recheck, and gets the same answer.
The technician then aims the gun at his finger and shoots, blasting it off.
He shouts back, ‘It’s working fine here!
The problem must be at your end!’
Q: How many Microsoft engineers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: None, they just declare darkness the standard!
Vote:
Programming is like sex.
One mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life.
Vote:
UNIX is basically a simple operating system, but you have to be a genius to understand the simplicity.
Q: What's object-oriented way to become wealthy?
A: Inheritance.