1998: Don't get in the car with strangers. 2008: Don't meet people from the internet. 2018: Order yourself a stranger to get in the car with from the internet. (Uber)
Q: What do computers and air conditions have in common? A: They're both become useless when you open windows.
Do files get embarrassed when they’re unzipped?
HR manager to job candidate: ‘I see you’ve had no computer training. Although that qualifies you for upper management, it means you’re under-qualified for our entry level positions.’
90% of programmer errors come from data from other programmers.
A SQL query goes into a bar, walks up to two tables and asks, "Can I join you?"
A Microsoft support technician goes to a firing range. He shoots ten bullets at the target 50m away. The supervisors check the target and see that there’s not even a single hit. They shout to him that he missed completely. The technician tells them to recheck, and gets the same answer. The technician then aims the gun at his finger and shoots, blasting it off. He shouts back, ‘It’s working fine here! The problem must be at your end!’
Me: Siri, why am I alone? Siri: *opens front facing camera*
If the box says: "This software requires Windows XP or better" Does that mean it'LL run on Linux?