Your mama so stupid she bought tickets to Xbox Live.
If you see the Blue Screen of Death on your laptop... it's because Chuck Norris found out you were reading Chuck Norris jokes.
A guy tells his friends: The girl I was dating broke my heart, so I broke her Apple iPhone 5. You all know who cried more
Programming is like sex. One mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life.
What was Forrest Gump's email password? 1forrest1
Chuck Norris' Internet connection is faster upstream than downstream because even data has more incentive to run from him than to him.
Computer users are divided into three types: novice, intermediate and expert. Novice users: people who are afraid that simply pressing a key might break their computer. Intermediate users: people who don’t know how to fix their computer after they’ve just pressed a key that broke it. Expert users: people who break other people’s computers.
Q: What do you call a computer expert? A: A control-alt-elite.
A ragged individual stranded for several months on a small desert island in the middle of the Pacific Ocean one day noticed a bottle lying in the sand with a piece of paper in it. "Due to lack of maintenance," he read, "we regretfully have found it necessary to cancel your e-mail account."
Why was the computer tired when he got home? Because he had a hard drive.