The best IT jokes

What does a network administrator say when he gets back to home from work ? There’s no place like 127.0.0.1!
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has 72.69 % from 100 votes. More jokes about: IT, programmer
1998: Don't get in the car with strangers. 2008: Don't meet people from the internet. 2018: Order yourself a stranger to get in the car with from the internet. (Uber)
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has 72.39 % from 82 votes. More jokes about: IT, time
A SQL query goes into a bar, walks up to two tables and asks, "Can I join you?"
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has 71.80 % from 129 votes. More jokes about: bar, IT, programmer
A rather obese man is very excited about his new job and wants to start work immediately. However, when he sits down at his computer, the only program installed was spreadsheets. Confused, the man calls over his boss and asks:"Why there is only excel installed on this computer?" His boss replies, "It was the only program in your size!"
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has 71.76 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: fat, IT, work
On Unix, I always hide all of my personal files in the /bin/laden directory.
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has 71.76 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: computer, geek, IT, programmer, technology
What was Forrest Gump's email password? 1forrest1
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has 71.64 % from 63 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, computer, IT, life, technology
A psychiatrist had no patients in his office and he was bored. Suddenly , the door opened slowly and a man crept into the room on four legs. His mouth was full with pieces of colored plastic. He was holding strange objects in his hands. He was dragging cables along behind himself. The doctor was glad because of the visit and exclaimed, "And what do we have here, a little snake? Come to Uncle Doctor, my snake..." The man shook his head. "Oh, sorry, I didn't notice your legs. You're a dragon, right?" The man shook his head again angrily. "Sorry... a worm?" The visitor spitted out the plastic pieces. "Go to hell, you idiot! I'm the system administrator and I came to change your LAN cable!"
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has 71.36 % from 87 votes. More jokes about: animal, computer, doctor, IT, programmer
A Microsoft support technician goes to a firing range. He shoots ten bullets at the target 50m away. The supervisors check the target and see that there’s not even a single hit. They shout to him that he missed completely. The technician tells them to recheck, and gets the same answer. The technician then aims the gun at his finger and shoots, blasting it off. He shouts back, ‘It’s working fine here! The problem must be at your end!’
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has 71.29 % from 58 votes. More jokes about: IT
A ragged individual stranded for several months on a small desert island in the middle of the Pacific Ocean one day noticed a bottle lying in the sand with a piece of paper in it. "Due to lack of maintenance," he read, "we regretfully have found it necessary to cancel your e-mail account."
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has 71.29 % from 58 votes. More jokes about: desert island, IT, time
Whats the chemical formula of compressed liquid oxygen? O2.zip
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has 71.15 % from 45 votes. More jokes about: IT, science