Your Momma is so fat, she takes her picture with Google Earth.
Q: What's object-oriented way to become wealthy? A: Inheritance.
What does a network administrator say when he gets back to home from work ? There’s no place like 127.0.0.1!
Caller: Hey, can you help me? My computer has locked up, and no matter how many times I type eleven, it won’t unfreeze. Agent: What do you mean, “type eleven?” Caller: The message on my screen says, “Error Type 11!”
Computer users are divided into three types: novice, intermediate and expert. Novice users: people who are afraid that simply pressing a key might break their computer. Intermediate users: people who don’t know how to fix their computer after they’ve just pressed a key that broke it. Expert users: people who break other people’s computers.
Q: Why do C# programmers have trouble dating women? A: They want women with class, but they treat them like objects.
A rather obese man is very excited about his new job and wants to start work immediately. However, when he sits down at his computer, the only program installed was spreadsheets. Confused, the man calls over his boss and asks:"Why there is only excel installed on this computer?" His boss replies, "It was the only program in your size!"
A SQL query goes into a bar, walks up to two tables and asks, "Can I join you?"
Linux is like wigwam: no Gates, no Windows and Apache inside.
Why did the computer get cold? Because it forgot to close windows.