Joke #10057

What is the golden rule for cows? Do unto udders as you would have udders do to you.
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What would you get if you crossed a grizzly with the world's greatest basketball player? Bear Jordan.
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Why did the bareback performer ride his horse? Because it got too heavy to carry.
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Why did the indecisive chicken cross the road? To get to the other side… er, no… to go shopping… no, not that either… damn it!
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Mr. Bear and Mr. Rabbit live in the same forest, but they don't like each other. One day, they come across a golden frog who offers them three wishes each. Mr. Bear wishes that all the other bears in the forest were female. Mr. Rabbit wishes for a crash helmet. Mr. Bear's second wish is that all the bears in the neighboring forests were female as well. Mr. Rabbit wishes for a motorcycle. Mr. Bear's final wish is that all the other bears in the world were female, leaving him the only male bear in the world. Mr. Rabbit revs the engine of his motorcycle and says, "I wish that Mr. Bear was gay!" and rides off.
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Q:What did the polar bear say when they saw tourists in sleeping bags? A:Mmmm, sandwiches!
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What do cows read at the breakfast table? The moospaper.
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How do you know when a crab is drunk? It walks forwards.
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Q: What is the difference between a chicken and a turkey? A: Chickens celebrate Thanksgiving!
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Which big cat should you never play cards with? A cheetah.
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‘I spilled spot remover on my dog. Now he’s gone.’ Steven Wright
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