Joke #10057

What is the golden rule for cows? Do unto udders as you would have udders do to you.

Teacher: Billy, how do you spell "Crocodile"? Billy: ‘K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L' Teacher: No, that's wrong Billy: Maybe it's wrong, but you ask me how I spell it!

Mr. Brown was telling his son a bed-time story. "Once upon a time there was a white bunny..." "Jeez..dad it's boring,what about science fiction?" "Ok,Ok" Mr Brown said. "Once upon a time there was a Bunny who got onto a spacecraft and...." "Dad, a little more grown up!" "Do you promise me not to tell your mom?" asked Mr Brown. " I swear!" "Ok", "Once upon a time there was a naked bunny..."

Q. What's black and white and green? A. A frog sitting on a newspaper.

How to you know that cows will be in heaven? It's a place of udder delight.

What does a cow like to do by a campfire? Roast Moosmallows.

Q: What do squirrels give for Valentine's Day? A: Forget-me-nuts.

"I’m in a big trouble!" "Why is that?" "I saw a mouse in my house!" "Oh, well, all you need to do is use a trap." "I don’t have one." "Well then, buy one." "Can’t afford one." "I can give you mine if you want." "That sounds good." "All you need to do is just use some cheese in order to make the mouse come to the trap." "I don’t have any cheese." "Okay then, take a piece of bread and put a bit of oil in it and put it in the trap." "I don’t have oil." "Well, then put only a small piece of bread." "I don’t have bread." "Then what is the mouse doing at your house?"

Chuck Norris doesn't play dead for bears, bears play dead for Chuck Norris.

I've just discovered a method for making wool out of milk. But doesn't that make the cow feel a little sheepish?

Q: Why are lawyers never attacked by sharks? A: Professional courtesy.