What is the golden rule for cows? Do unto udders as you would have udders do to you.
What two members of the cow family go everywhere with you? Your calves.
What do you get if you cross a cow with a spaniel, a poodle, and a rooster? A cockerpoodlemoo.
Yo mama so stupid that she mourned wen we slaughtered a goat for Cristmas.
A man is walking home when he sees a dog buying meat for his owner. The man watches the dog when the butcher takes a little to much and growls and him until he gets the right amount. The man follows the dog and watches as the dog stands on two legs and helps an old lady across the street. Amazed the man follows the dog home and watches the dog ring the doorbell. When the owner comes to the door the owner takes the bags and tells the dog to stay in the front yard. Frustrated the man goes up to the owner and yells "This dog is amazing! He gets your groceries, makes sure you have the exact change, helps old ladies across the street and this is how you treat him!" The owner replies, "I know but,this is the 3rd time this week he left his keys".
What should a rabbit use to keep his fur neat? A harebrush.
What happened to the tiger who took a bath three times a day? After a week he was spotless.
You know Chuck Norris' pet lizard, right? Last I heard, he was in the movie "Godzilla". Oh, and his pet turtle starred in "Gamera" as well.
What do you call a frog that crosses the road, jumps in a puddle, and crosses the road again? A dirty double-crosser!
Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side…
"Waiter, what is this hare doing in my salad?" "I believe he's eating your lettuce."