‘Cats have nine lives. Which makes them ideal for experimentation.’
A duck walks into a pet store and asked the owner if he sold “duck-food” here. The owner said; “no, I don’t sell duck food here”. The next day the duck went back to the same pet store, and asked the owner again if he sold “duck-food” here. The owner became very angry and said; “if you ask me for “duck-food” one more time, I am going to nail your web feet to the floor!” The duck came back on the third day and asked the owner of the pet store; “do you sell any hammer and nails here?” The owner answered; “no, I don’t sell any hammer and nails here”. The duck then asked; “do you sell any “duck-food” here”?
Chuck Norris could stab you with a worm.
What color socks do bears wear? (They don't wear socks, they have bear feet!)
What's an octopuses favourite latin saying? Squid pro quo.
More than anything, Bob wanted to be a cowpoke. Taking pity on him, a rancher decided to hire the lad and give him a chance. "This," he said, showing him a rope, "is a lariat. We use it to catch cows." "I see," said Bob, trying to seem knowledgeable as he examined the lariat. "And what do you use for bait?"
What’s the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead black person in the road? There’s skid marks in front of the skunk.
I thought I was at a Nicki Minaj concert for 20 minutes before I realized I was just watching a homeless man yell at a pigeon.
How can you tell when a skunk is angry? It raises a stink.
How many skunks do you need to make a house really smelly? Just a phew.
How can you tell that elephants have been doing it in your garage? All your Hefty Bags are missing.