‘Cats have nine lives.
Which makes them ideal for experimentation.’
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Two hunters from Moscow charter a small plane to fly them to Siberia to go bear hunting.
On landing, the pilot says, "Remember, this plane can only fly with two hunters, one pilot, and ONE bear."
The hunters go out and return with two bears.
So the pilot says, "I told you ONE bear!"
But the hunters point out that the previous year, on payment of an extra 100 rubles, the pilot had let them put two bears on board.
After long discussion centering on the impossibility of the thing and the disgraceful degree of inflation, the pilot takes 200 rubles and with much pushing and shoving the hunters get aboard with the two bears.
After struggling into the air and fitfully flying for about two hours, the plane gives up and plummets to the earth in a snowbank.
Climbing out from under the snow and the bears, the hunters ask the pilot where he thinks they are.
The pilot says, "About the same place where we crashed last year."
Q: Why can't you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom?
A: Becuase the "P" is silent.
You mama is so fat when we went to the beach the whales sang, "We are family."
Godzilla is a Japanese rendition of Chuck Norris' first visit to Tokyo.
Vote:
Yo mama cooking so bad, the flies chipped for a screen door!
What is a zebra?
26 sizes larger than an ‘A’ bra.
What's a moo hoo for a tug-of-war between two longhorns?
A bull pull.
Rabbit: "I got kicked out of my cage for not paying the rent. My wife walked out and took our twenty-nine bunnies with her. I m all out of carrots. What should I do?"
Friend: "Don't worry; be hoppy!"
Why is there no gambling in Africa?
-Too many Cheetahs!