How did the calf's final exam turn out? Grade A.
What did the rabbit bride get on her wedding day? A forty-carrot wedding ring.
What's a skunk's favourite game in school? Show and smell.
Why did the skunk buy four boxes of tissues? Because he had a stinking cold.
What's green and red? A very mad frog.
An old couple is on a walk, when a pigeon flies by and relieves himself on the woman's head. "Yech!" says the woman. "Get some toilet paper." "What for? He must be half-a-mile away by now."
How much do I owe Yo' Mama? My dog came home happy last night.
While standing in front of the gorilla's cage, a gust of wind swept some dust into his eye. As he rubbed his eyelid, the gorilla went crazy, bent open the bars, and beat the guy senseless. When the guy came to his senses, he reported the incident to the zookeeper. Nodding, the zookeeper explained that pulling down your eyelid means "Fuck you! " in gorilla language. The explanation didn't make the victim feel any better and he vowed revenge. The next day he purchased two large knives, two party hats, two party horns, and a large sausage. Putting the sausage in his pants, he hurried to the zoo and over to the gorilla's cage, where he tossed a hat, a knife, and a party horn. Knowing that gorillas were natural mimics, he put on a party hat. The gorilla looked at him, looked at the hat, and put it on. Next, he picked up his horn and blew on it. The gorilla picked up his horn and did the same. Then the man picked up his knife, whipped the sausage out of his pants, and sliced it in half. The gorilla looked at the knife, looked at his own crotch, looked at the man, and pulled down his eyelid."
Q: Why was the farmer arrested at the gym? A: He was destroying his calves.
Would a Police-Dog arrest itself for fouling the street? Police Dog Joke Submitted by Kabogga.
Q: Who was the most famous pirate octopus? A: Captain Squid.