How did the calf's final exam turn out?
Grade A.
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Yo mama so stupid that she mourned wen we slaughtered a goat for Cristmas.
What happened to the frog's car when his parking meter expired?
It got toad!!
Q: What did the seal say when found nuts in the sea?
A: "Look I found deep nuts."
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Crocodiles are easy.
They try to kill and eat you.
People are harder.
Sometimes they pretend to be your friend first.
- Steve Irwin (1962 - 2006)
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A blind man with an assistance dog was getting ready to cross the street.
When the dog took him across he almost got ran over by the traffic and the cars where sliding everywhere to avoid hitting him.
When he got to the other side, he took out a treat to give to the dog.
A spectator who saw what happened couldn't believe his eyes.
He ran over to the blind man and said, "Sir, why are you rewarding that dog, he almost got you killed?"
The blind man replied, "I'm trying to find his head so I can kick his ass!"
Q: What is the pink stuff between elephant’s toes?
A: Slow clowns.
What happens to a frog's car when it breaks down?
It gets toad away.
When Chuck Norris was a baby he didnt have teddy bears. He had real bears.
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I heard my tire thumping, I thought it was flat.
When I looked at my tire I discovered your cat.
Sorry...
Once upon a time, there was a guy sunbathing in the nude.
He saw a little girl coming towards him, so he covered himself with the newspaper he was reading.
The girl came up to him and asked "What do you have under the newspaper, mister?"
"A bird," the guy replied.
The little girl walked away and the guy fell asleep.
When he woke up, he was in a hospital in tremendous pain.
When the Police asked him what happened, the guy replied, "I don't know.
I was lying on the beach, this girl asked me about my privates, and the next thing I know is I'm here."
Police went back to the beach, found the girl, and asked her "What did you do to that naked fellow?"
After a little pause, the girl replied, "To him?
Nothing.
I was playing with the bird and it spit on me, so I broke its neck, cracked its eggs, and set its nest on fire."