How did the calf's final exam turn out?
Grade A.
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What gives milk and has a horn?
A milk tank.
That bull you sold me is a lazy good-for-nothing.
I told you he was a bum steer.
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Ozzy Osbourne bites the heads off of bats.
Chuck Norris bites the heads off of Siberian Tigers.
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Why did the frog cross the road?
To see what the chicken was doing.
Q. What's green and red?
A. A very mad frog.
Q: What was the last thing her husband said to her?
A: I'll feed the dog, you feed the fish.
A guy enters a bar carrying an alligator.
Says to the patrons, "Here’s a deal.
I'll open this alligator's mouth and place my genitals inside.
The gator will close his mouth for one minute, then open it, and I'll remove my unit unscathed.
If it works, everyone buys me drinks."
The crowd agrees.
The guy drops his pants and puts his privates in the gator's mouth.
Gator closes mouth.
After a minute, the guy grabs a beer bottle and bangs the gator on the top of its head.
The gator opens wide, and he removes his genitals unscathed. Everyone buys him drinks.
Then he says: "I'll pay anyone $100 who's willing to give it a try."
After a while, a hand goes up in the back of the bar.
It's a woman.
"I'll give it a try," she says, "but you have to promise not to hit me on the head with the beer bottle."
Q: Why do Scotsmen wear kilts?
A: Sheep can hear a zipper a mile away.
