Joke #10093

"Pa's being chased by a bull!" "Well, what in tarnation do you want me to do about it?" "Get me some film for my camera."
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Yo' Mama is so fat, she tried to eat her chicken pox.
Vote: has 44.24 % from 10 votes. Send joke:

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A snail and a slug got in a crash. When the police, ambulances and news reporters arrived, a reporter asked a tortoise what happened. He replied: "I don't know, it all happened so fast!"
Vote: has 75.77 % from 44 votes. Send joke:

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Q: What did the pig say at the beach on a hot summer's day? A: I'm bakin'.
Vote: has 29.01 % from 7 votes. Send joke:

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A old snake goes to see his Doctor. "Doc, I need something for my eyes...can't see well these days". The Doc fixes him up with a pair of glasses and tells him to return in 2 weeks. The snake comes back in 2 weeks and tells the doctor he's very depressed. Doc says, "What's the problem...didn't the glasses help you?" "The glasses are fine doc, I just discovered I've been living with a water hose the past 2 years!"
Vote: has 57.36 % from 11 votes. Send joke:

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After a day fishing in the ocean a fisherman is walking from the pier carrying two lobsters in a bucket. He is approached by the Game Warden who asks him for his fishing license. The fisherman says to the warden, "I did not catch these lobsters, they are my pets. Everyday I come done to the water and whistle and these lobster jump out and I take them for a walk only to return them at the end of the day." The warden, not believing him, reminds him that it is illegal to fish without a license. The fisherman turns to the warden and says, "If you don't believe me then watch," as he throws the lobsters back into the water. The warden says, "Now whistle to your lobsters and show me that they will come out of the water." The fisherman turns to the warden and says, "What lobsters?"
Vote: has 70.72 % from 73 votes. Send joke:

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Why do cows think cooks are mean? They whip cream!
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A blonde returned home from work and was shocked to find her house ransacked and burglarized. She called the police immediately to report the crime. The police dispatcher broadcast the call on the channels and a K-9 unit patrolling nearby was the first to respond. As the K-9 officer approached the house with his dog on a leash, the blonde ran out onto the porch. The sight of the cop and his dog made her shudder. She put her face in her hands as she sat down on the steps and began moaning. "What's the moaning all about, ma'am?" asked the officer. The blonde replied, "I come home to find all my possessions stolen, so I call the police for help, and what do they do? They send me a blind policeman!"
Vote: has 59.75 % from 31 votes. Send joke:

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What’s orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot.
Vote: has 45.58 % from 15 votes. Send joke:

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Whats the difference in a seagull and a babys diaper? A seagull flits across the shore and a baby shits across the floor.
Vote: has 64.88 % from 18 votes. Send joke:

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One afternoon I was walking on a trail with my baby daughter, chatting to her about the scenery. When a man and his dog approached, I leaned down to the carriage and said, “See the doggy?” Suddenly I felt foolish talking to my baby as if she understood me. However, just as the man passed, he reached down, patted his dog, and said, “See the baby?”
Vote: has 64.78 % from 14 votes. Send joke:

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