Joke #10385

Which rabbit was a famous female aviator? Amelia Harehart.

"I can't decide whether to buy a bicycle or a cow for my farm." "Well, wouldn't you look silly riding a cow?" "I d look a darn sight sillier trying to milk a bicycle!"

An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing. A small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him, "Can I also sit like you and do nothing?" The eagle answered: "Sure, why not." So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it. Moral of the story: To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up...

Why didn't the teddy bear eat his lunch? (Because he was stuffed!)

Why did a gambler scare everyone out swimming? He was a card shark.

Yo mama's so fat, Godzilla tried to f**k her and fell in.

You can lead a horse to water, but Chuck Norris can make it drink.

Which rabbit stole from the rich to give to the poor? Rabbit Hood.

Gemma:My dog doesn't have a nose. Ortoise: How does he smell? Gemma: Awful!

Q: Why did the bowlegged cowboy get fired? A: Because he couldn't keep his calves together!

A man absolutely hated his wife's cat and decided to get rid of him one day by driving him 20 blocks from his home and leaving him at the park. As he was getting home, the cat was walking up the driveway. The next day he decided to drive the cat 40 blocks away. He put the beast out and headed home. Driving back up his driveway, there was the cat! He kept taking the cat further and further and the cat would always beat him home. At last he decided to drive a few miles away, turn right, then left, past the bridge, then right again and another right until he reached what he thought was a safe distance from his home and left the cat there. Hours later the man calls home to his wife: "Jen, is the cat there?" "Yes", the wife answers, "why do you ask?" Frustrated, the man answered, "Put that son of a bitch on the phone, I'm lost and need directions!"