Chuck Norris can hit you so hard your blood will bleed.
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Chuck Norris finds it impossible to understand the concept of impossibility.
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Despite popular belief, there is no such thing as a tornado.
Chuck Norris just doesn't like trailer parks.
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Chuck Norris once encountered the men in black and he still remembers it.
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Chuck Norris can run so fast he can cause time travel.
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Chuck Norris cannot be put in a corner.
The corner always backs away.
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Chuck Norris once won a chess game after losing his king
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Chuck Norris watched the tape from The Ring.
His phone rang and when he answered a scared voice said "Excuse me, the wrong number"
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Batman is to Robin as Chuck Norris is to Death.
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Chuck Norris has two speeds: Walk and Kill.
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When Chuck Norris surfs the Internet, he actually surfs on a virtual wave of 1's and 0's.
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