Chuck Norris can hit you so hard your blood will bleed.
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Chuck Norris can't finish a "color by numbers" because his markers are filled with the blood of his victims. Unfortunately, all blood is dark red.
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Chuck Norris doesn't run out of bullets, bullets run out of Norrises.
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The Grinch stole Christmas until Chuck Norris ordered him to return it.
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Chuck Norris can get a touchdown in baseball.
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Chuck Norris can stick his hand inside a rabbit's mouth and pull out a HAT!
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Chuck Norris walked his version of a 40-yard dash in 5.6 seconds; he was later told it was the Boston Marathon.
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Chuck Norris has no freezer. He stares at food and they freeze with fear.
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Chuck Norris's programs can pass the Turing Test by staring at the interrogator.
The reason newborn babies cry is because they know they have just entered a world with Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris is Darth Vaders father.
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