Chuck Norris doesn't have a shadow. His shadow isn't stupid enough to follow him around.
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Chuck Norris likes his meat rare, so he eats unicorns.
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The wind is Chuck Norris breathing.
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Chuck Norris can light ants on fire with a magnifying glass.
At Night.
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Chuck Norris once slapped a headless man.
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Chuck Norris doesn't blink...reality pauses.
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Chuck Norris can walk up a down elavator.
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Chuck Norris played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.
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Lehman Brothers owed Chuck Norris a fiver.
When he asked for payback, well, you know the rest.
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You know why Chuck Norris is always on top during sex?
Because he never fucks up.
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Chuck Norris invented the printing press by putting two pieces of blank paper together.
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