Chuck Norris doesn't have a shadow. His shadow isn't stupid enough to follow him around.
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It takes a master to shoot a fly from a hundred Paces, but it takes a Chuck Norris to roundhouse-kick one from a thousand.
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In the Matrix, the bullets try to dodge Chuck Norris - and fail.
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Chuck Norris shaves with a hunting knife.
"Shaving" consists of cutting a new mouth-hole every morning.
That's how tough his beard is.
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PlayStation network was never hacked.
Chuck Norris just decided to play one day.
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Giraffes were invented when Chuck Norris laid an uppercut to a horse.
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Chuck Norris lights campfires with fire ants.
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Chuck Norris once scored a field goal, using a hockey stick!
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Lou Gehrig considered himself the luckiest man on the face of the Earth, no one knew that it was because he was soon getting away from Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris cancelled his own funeral.
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Chuck Norris lives in a Roundhouse...
And his favorite drink is punch...
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