Chuck Norris doesn't have a shadow. His shadow isn't stupid enough to follow him around.
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Chuck Norris is standing right behind you when you're reading this.
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Chuck Norris doesn't travel at the speed of light, light travels at the speed of Chuck Norris!
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The wind is Chuck Norris breathing.
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Chuck Norris understood the ending of Lost.
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Chuck Norris originally appeared in the "Street Fighter II" video game, but was removed by Beta Testers because every button caused him to do a roundhouse kick. When asked bout this "glitch," Norris replied, "That's no glitch."
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In 1666, Chuck Norris caught the Plague.
The Plague learned its lesson, and has stayed away since then.
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When Chuck Norris wants to burn calories, he throws fat kids into a camp fire.
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Chuck Norris can make a pound cake with only an ounce.
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Chuck Norris inhales carbon monoxide and exhales oxygen.
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The square root of Pain is Chuck Norris.
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