Chuck Norris can check out books from the Library of Congress.
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Chuck Norris does not teabag the ladies.
He potato-sacks them.
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Chuck Norris's urine was the main ingredient for balco's designer steroids.
Therefore, Chuck Norris is actually the all-time single-season home run king.
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Got said, "Let there be light!"
Chuck Norris looked at him and said: "Say please."
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Chuck Norris can punch your thoughts and give you a headache.
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Chuck Norris won a staring contest with his eyes closed.
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After Chuck Norris was born, he drove himself back home.
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Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.
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Chuck Norris never suffers from a heart attack.
His heart is too smart to not attack him.
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In the beginning there was nothing...then Chuck Norris Roundhouse kicked that nothing in the face and said "Get a job".
That is the story of the universe.
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Chuck Norris can hear sign language.
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