Chuck Norris can check out books from the Library of Congress.
When Chuck Norris goes through airport security he makes them take their shoes off.
Chuck Norris once drank a Red Bull and the can grew wings.
On Halloween, children give Chuck Norris candy.
Chuck Norris broke the world record for most punches in a minute with one roundhouse kick.
Chuck Norris can kill you as many times as he wants to. He knows CPR.
There is no such thing as global warming. Chuck Norris was cold, so he turned the sun up.
Chuck Norris protects his body guards.
Chuck Norris jumped off a building once. The ground didn't make it.
One day Chuck Norris wanted to make a prank to whole world. So Justin Bieber was created.
Chuck Norris stared in to the mirror and said, "There can only be one Chuck Norris." Then his reflection cried and walked away.