What do you call a gigantic polar bear? Nothing, you just run away.
Where do you find a down-and-out octopus? On squid row.
Why was Teddy Roosevelt mean to horses? He was a rough rider!
A man is walking through a park when he steps in a pile of dog mess. He pauses to wipe his shoe on the grass and sees another man step into the same pile. ‘I just did that,’ says the man, so the other man rubs his nose in it.
Why did the whale like the diver? Because he had flippers.
The last time Chuck Norris was hungry, all the dinosaurs suddenly got extinct...
What's a rabbits favorite movie? Rabbits of the Lost Ark.
Customer: "Waiter, there’s a dead beetle in my soup." Waiter: "Yes sir, they are not very good swimmers."
Q: What is a crowbar? A: A place were crows go to get a drink!
What's the difference between a tiger and a lion? A tiger has the mane part missing.
Little girl: "Why does your son say, 'Cluck, cluck, cluck?'" Mother: "Because he thinks he's a chicken." Little girl: "Why don't you tell him he's not a chicken?" Mother: "Because we need the eggs."