What do you call a gigantic polar bear? Nothing, you just run away.
Roses are red, Violets are blue, faces like yours belong in a zoo. Don't worry I'll be there too, not in the cage, but laughing at you.
Two hunters from Moscow charter a small plane to fly them to Siberia to go bear hunting. On landing, the pilot says, "Remember, this plane can only fly with two hunters, one pilot, and ONE bear." The hunters go out and return with two bears. So the pilot says, "I told you ONE bear!" But the hunters point out that the previous year, on payment of an extra 100 rubles, the pilot had let them put two bears on board. After long discussion centering on the impossibility of the thing and the disgraceful degree of inflation, the pilot takes 200 rubles and with much pushing and shoving the hunters get aboard with the two bears. After struggling into the air and fitfully flying for about two hours, the plane gives up and plummets to the earth in a snowbank. Climbing out from under the snow and the bears, the hunters ask the pilot where he thinks they are. The pilot says, "About the same place where we crashed last year."
What do you call it when one bull spies on another bull? A steak-out.
What do you get if you cross a bottle of water with an electric eel? A bit of a shock really.
Q. Why don't lions eat clowns? A. Because they taste funny.
Q: What happens when you cross a pig with a Democrat? A: Nothing. There are some things a pig won't do.
What happens when the cows refuse to be milked? Udder chaos.
What did Cinderella Dolphin where to the ball? Glass flippers.
Did you hear about the argumentative skunk? He always liked to make a stink.
What is a cow's favourite TV show? Dr Moo.