Chuck Norris's daughter lost her virginity, he got it back.
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Chuck Norris was asked to star in Night of the Living Dead but filming was ended after the zombies were to afraid to be roundhouse kicked in the face.
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Chuck Norris can suck a black hole.
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Chuck Norris once caught the Ebola virus, it's been on the run ever since.
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Chuck Norris sleeps with a night light.
Not because Chuck Norris is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris can play Pokemon Go on his landline.
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Chuck Norris can tie his shoes with his feet.
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Chuck Norris had a knife thrown at him... the knife didn't impale him, he impaled the knife.
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Chuck Norris sends paper letters through email.
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Chuck Norris doesn't shave, his beard grows to the perfect length and stops.
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The only thing written on Chuck Norris' passport is "It's me".
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