Chuck Norris's daughter lost her virginity, he got it back.
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When Chuck Norris falls out of a boat , he dosn't hit water...
That's because Chuck Norris would never fall out of a boat it the first place.
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Chuck Norris has the greatest Poker-Face of all time.
He won the 1983 World Series of Poker, despite holding only a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoloy card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game UNO.
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Chuck Norris can eat the inside of an orange without peeling it.
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Only Chuck Norris knows a bigger number than infinity, and it's not infinite plus one.
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Chuck Norris can drive a car without gas... or an engine.
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Chuck Norris can watch an episode of 60 Minutes in a half-hour.
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Chuck Norris can travel back in time into the future.
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Chuck Norris jumps on hand grenades to shave his chest hair.
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Chuck Norris always knows where x is.
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The light at the end of the tunnel is actually Chuck Norris holding a flashlight.
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