Chuck Norris's daughter lost her virginity, he got it back.
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Nobody has ever told Chuck Norris a yo-mama joke and lived to tell about it.
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Right angles used to be called wrong angles until Chuck said, "I don't see anything wrong with them."
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Chuck Norris is like an F5 Tornado...
When you see him coming you better run for cover and pray to God he doesn't find you...
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Chuck Norris once squeezed an M&M so hard that it turned into a Skittle.
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When Chuck Norris goes through airport security he makes them take their shoes off.
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Chuck Norris doesn't always drink beer, but when he does he has the dos equis guy serve it to him in a dress.
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Chuck Norris keeps his friends close and his enemies dead.
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Chuck Norris keeps a list of all his victims, it's called the phone book.
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Chuck Norris speaks english, french, spanish, italian and portuguese.
At the same time in every sentence.
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Chuck Norris is the reason why This Little Piggy cried wee wee wee all the way home.
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