Chuck Norris got elected for president, even though he didn't run for anything.
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Kimbo Slice copied Chuck Norris' beard.
When confronted, Kimbo's beard simply fell off and spotaneously combusted.
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Chuck Norris scares cows so bad, milk comes out their nose.
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Chuck Norris' dog is trained to pick up his own poop because Chuck Norris will not take shit from anyone.
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Chuck Norris once lost the remote, but maintained control of the TV by yelling at it in between bites of his "Filet of Child" sandwich.
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Chuck Norris inflated a flat school bus tire, with his lungs.
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Chuck Norris only mast*rbates to pictures of Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris can one hit kill a creeper in Minecraft... With a stick.
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Chuck Norris once played The Price Is Right.
The prices attempted to guess the numbers Chuck Norris was thinking of.
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Chuck Norris doesn't even have to bid in an auction to win it.
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Chuck Norris found the stairway to heaven, but he prefers the elevator.
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