Joke #9645

Chuck Norris got elected for president, even though he didn't run for anything.
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Chuck Norris looks at IEDs and the trigger man blows up.
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A Handicap parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park there.
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If Chuck Norris was a villian in a video game, you'll never win. But if he was the hero, it's unplayable; because no one controls Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris never bathes. Dirt is too afraid to cling to him.
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When Chuck Norris is as old as dirt, he will be the salt of the earth.
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Lawsuit commercials for personal injury are quite common with things like accidents and medication; however they never mention Chuck Norris.
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Every morning Chuck Norris eats a bowl of nails for Breakfast... without milk.
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The movie Unstoppable is based on Chuck Norris' morning jog.
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Who would win in a fight between a bear and a lion? Answer - neither, Chuck Norris would beat them both with a single round-house-kick.
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The chemical formula for the highly toxic cyanide ion is CN-. These are also Chuck Norris' initials. This is not a coincidence.
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