If Chuck Norris ever got caught for speeding, he'd let the cops off with a warning.
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A cop once pulled Chuck Norris over...Luckily, the cop left only with a warning.
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Police label anyone attacking Chuck Norris as a Code 45-11... a suicide.
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The cops pulled Chuck Norris over for going 55 miles per hour on the freeway.
But since he wasn't in a car, they had to give him a ticket for jaywalking.
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It takes a master to shoot a fly from a hundred Paces, but it takes a Chuck Norris to roundhouse-kick one from a thousand.
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Physics is bound by the laws of Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris doesn't fall, he merely tests the durability of the floor with his face.
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When customs finds something in your butt, how do you act surprised?
Bears only poop in the woods when Chuck Norris says its ok..
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A man was driving along the road when all of a sudden he has to swerve to avoid a box falling off the lorry in front.
Seconds later a policeman pulled him over for reckless driving.
As the policeman starting writing the ticket he noticed the box was full of nails and tacks.
"I had to serve or I'd have run over those and blown my tyres!" protested the driver.
"Ok", replied the officer, ripping up the ticket, "but I'm still bringing you in."
"What for?" retorted the man.
"Tacks evasion", answered the policeman.
Chuck Norris invented the spoon because it's too easy to kill someone with a knife or fork.
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