Joke #1252

A cop once pulled Chuck Norris over...Luckily, the cop left only with a warning.

Police label anyone attacking Chuck Norris as a Code 45-11... a suicide.

If Chuck Norris ever got caught for speeding, he'd let the cops off with a warning.

The cops pulled Chuck Norris over for going 55 miles per hour on the freeway. But since he wasn't in a car, they had to give him a ticket for jaywalking.

A cop pulls a guy over: Sir, why were you speeeding? Officer, I wanted to get home quickly, before I became really drunk.

A Policeman pulls over a motorist for running a stop sign. The motorists says, "What's the problem officer, I slowed down for that stop sign?" The officer replies, "I know you slowed down, but you are supposed to stop." "But officer, I slowed down, what's the difference?" "The difference is, you're supposed to stop.", says the officer. "But I slowed down!" replied the motorist. The officer says, "Let me explain it to you this way. I'm going to drag your scrawny ass out of your car, then I'm going to take this stick I carry on my belt and I'm going to start beating you with it. After five minutes I'm going to ask you, do you want me to slow down or do you want me to stop?"

Chuck Norris turns his game off while saving.

A completely inebriated man was stumbling down the street with one foot on the curb and one foot in the gutter. A cop pulled up and said, "I've got to take you in, pal. You're obviously drunk." Our wasted friend asked, "Officer, are ya absolutely sure I'm drunk?" "Yeah, buddy, I'm sure," said the copper. "Let's go." Breathing a sigh of relief, the wino said, "Thank goodness, I thought I was crippled."

Chuck Noris can make grapes from wine.

Chuck Norris cuts off parts of his beard and sells it...we know this as kevlar.

Chuck Norris steps into the confession booth. The Priests confess his sins.