A cop once pulled Chuck Norris over...Luckily, the cop left only with a warning.
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Police label anyone attacking Chuck Norris as a Code 45-11... a suicide.
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If Chuck Norris ever got caught for speeding, he'd let the cops off with a warning.
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The cops pulled Chuck Norris over for going 55 miles per hour on the freeway.
But since he wasn't in a car, they had to give him a ticket for jaywalking.
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The Total Gym uses Chuck Norris to stay in shape.
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Chuck Norris can never fill out an online form, because Chuck Norris will never submit.
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Someone call CSI.
I just killed my workout.
Bill Gates lives in fear Chuck Norris' PC will crash.
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When President Roosevelt dropped the atomic bomb on Hiroshima, he did so only because it was more human then sending Chuck Norris.
Two rednecks, Bubba and Earl, were driving down the road drinking a couple of bottles of Bud.
The passenger, Bubba, said "Lookey thar up ahead, Earl, it's a police roadblock!!
We're gonna get busted fer drinkin' these here beers!!"
"Don't worry, Bubba," Earl said. "We'll just pull over and finish drinkin' these beers then peel off the label and stick it on our foreheads, and throw the bottles under the seat."
"What fer?", asked Bubba.
"Just let me do the talkin', OK?," said Earl.
Well, they finished their beers, threw the empties out of sight & put label on each of their foreheads.
When they reached the roadblock, the sheriff said, "You boys been drinkin'?"
"No, sir," said Earl while pointing at the labels. "We're on the patch."
Chuck Norris logged on MSN through the display of washing machines.
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