Chuck Norris uses 8'x10' sheets of plywood as toilet paper.
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This Christmas, Santa is sending a message to the naughty children to stop being bad.
He stuffing their stocking with Chuck Norris!
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Chuck Norris made a statue bleed.
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Chuck Norris doesn't need photos, he takes mental pictures.
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Depending on the circumstances, Chuck Norris will decide whether or not his farts will stink.
If he chooses to have them stink, he will then also determine the appropriate percentage level of rankness delivered based on the demographics of the attending audience.
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Chuck Norris and Jean-Claude Van Damme play tug a war with live annacondas.
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Chuck Norris doesn't vote.
He elects!
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Chuck Norris once stitched up a cut in his arm with a spoon.
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Chuck Norris can blow up things, without a bomb.
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When Chuck Norris enters a sauna the sauna starts sweating.
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Chuck Norris can paste something before he copies it.
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