Chuck Norris uses 8'x10' sheets of plywood as toilet paper.
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Little known medical fact: Chuck Norris invented the Caesarean section when he roundhouse-kicked his way out of his monther's womb.
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Chuck Norris once dropped a glass vase onto the floor.
The glass apologized for breaking in his presence.
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Chuck Norris doesn't have an ESC key on his computer, no one ever escapes.
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Chuck Norris ate a sheet of paper, then later found an origami swan in the toilet.
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Superman's weakness is kryptonite, kryptonite's weakness is Chuck Norris.
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Chuck actually died four years ago, but the Grim Reaper can't get up the courage to tell him.
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Chuck Norris found the fountain of youth, but...he wasn't thirsty.
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Some magicans can walk on water, Chuck Norris can swim through land.
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Black Holes are places where parallel universes are hiding from Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris uses gasoline as aftershave just for the pleasant tingling sensation.
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