Q: What would you get if you cross a trumpet and a serpent? A: A snake in the brass.
Why was the cannibal looking peeky? Because he had just eaten a Chinese dog!
What did the customer say to the pet shop assistant after buying a bunny? Rabbit up nicely, it's a gift.
Question: What’s worse than a male chauvinistic pig? Answer: A woman that doesn’t do what she’s told.
Q: What's the difference between Chuck Norris and a bear? A: Chuck Norris has more chest hair.
Deep within a forest a little turtle began to climb a tree. After hours of effort he reached the top, jumped into the air waving his front legs and crashed to the ground. After recovering, he slowly climbed the tree again, jumped, and fell to the ground.The turtle tried again and again while a couple of birds sitting on a branch watched his sad efforts. Finally, the female bird turned to her mate. “Dear,” she chirped, “I think it’s time to tell him he’s adopted.”
Knock, knock. Who's there? Kanga. Kanga who? Actually, it's kangaroo!
How should you treat a baby goat? Like a kid.
An old couple is on a walk, when a pigeon flies by and relieves himself on the woman's head. "Yech!" says the woman. "Get some toilet paper." "What for? He must be half-a-mile away by now."
Q: What do you call a snake who works for the government? A: A civil serpent.