Q: What would you get if you cross a trumpet and a serpent?
A: A snake in the brass.
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I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah; I thought, ''He's trying to pull a fast one''.
Q: Why do gorillas have big noses?
A: Because they have big fingers!
What do you get if you cross a hippo, elephant and a rhino?
A Helephino!!
What do you call a cow that fell in a hole?
A hole-y Cow.
What fur do we get from a tiger?
As fur as possible!
A computer programmer happens across a frog in the road.
The frog pipes up, "I'm really a beautiful princess and if you kiss me, I'll stay with you for a week".
The programmer shrugs his shoulders and puts the frog in his pocket.
A few minutes later, the frog says "OK, OK, if you kiss me, I'll give you great sex for a week".
The programmer nods and puts the frog back in his pocket.
A few minutes later, "Turn me back into a princess and I'll give you great sex for a whole year!"
The programmer smiles and walks on.
Finally, the frog says, "What's wrong with you? I've promised you great sex for a year from a beautiful princess and you won't even kiss a frog?"
"I'm a programmer," he replies.
"I don't have time for sex.But a talking frog is pretty neat."
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What do cows call Frank Sinatra?
Old Moo Eyes.
A mother and her young son were flying Southwest Airlines from Kansas City to Chicago.
The son turned from the window to his mother and asked, "If big dogs have baby dogs and big cats have baby cats, why don’t big planes have baby planes?"
The mother said, "Well, maybe that’s something you could ask the stewardess."
So the boy asked the stewardess, "If big dogs have baby dogs and big cats have baby cats, why don’t big planes have baby planes?"
The stewardess responded, "Did your mother tell you to ask me?"
The boy admitted that this was the case. "Well, then, tell your mother that there are no baby planes because Southwest always pulls out on time. You can ask your mother to explain it to you."
What do you get when you mix human DNA with goat DNA?
Kicked out of the petting zoo.