Two men were walking through the woods when a large bear walked out into the clearing not more than fifty feet from them. The first man dropped his backpack and dug out a pair of running shoes. Then, as the bear slowly approached them, he furiously attempted to lace them up. The second man, somewhat confused, looked at the first man and said, "Whaddya doing? Running shoes ain’t gonna help! You can't outrun that there bear!" "I don't need to outrun the bear, buddy," said the first man, "I just need to outrun you."
What did the bee say to the flower? "Hi, honey."
What book did the rabbit take on vacation? One with a hoppy ending.
Q: Why do pandas like old movies? A: Because they are black and white.
What's the best way to catch a unique rabbit? Unique up on him.
Q: Why did the ants dance on the jam jar? A: The lid said, "Twist to open."
What's black and white and rolls down the Boardwalk? A nigger and a seagull fighting over a French Fry.
Why don't whales eat sushi very often? Of course whales like sushi. It's just those itty-bitty chop sticks that keep getting stuck in their teeth.
A city child came running into the farmhouse. “No wonder that mama pig is so big,” she yelled. “There’s a bunch of little pigs out there blowing her up!”
A fish walks into a bar, the bartender asks, "What would you like?" the fish says holding his neck, "Water".
Two friends were walking through the woods when they thought they heard something. They turned around and saw a big black bear coming towards them. Both men started to run when one of them stopped to change into tennis shoes. The second man said "You don't have time to change shoes. You can't outrun that bear!" The first man said, "I know I can't outrun the bear. I only have to outrun you"!