What book did the rabbit take on vacation? One with a hoppy ending.
Yo' Mama is so fat, when she went to KFC, she ordered the bucket of chicken on the roof.
Buy a dog a toy and it will play with it for ever. Buy a cat a present and it will play with the wrapper for 10 minutes.
What do reindeer say before telling you a joke? This one will sleigh you.
How can you tell a rabbit from a skunk? A skunk uses a cheaper deodorant.
Did you hear about the aristocratic horse? He was the last of his race!
What gas do snails prefer? Shell.
What do a rattlesnake and a soft penis have in common? You can't f**k with either one.
What animal do you look like when you get into the bath? A little bear.
I saw some ducks practicing their teenage girl faces at the pond today.
"Mommy, all the kids at school say I'm a werewolf! Is that true?" "No, of course not. Now shut up and comb your face."