What book did the rabbit take on vacation? One with a hoppy ending.
Some scientists decided to do the following experiments on a dog. For the first experiment, they cut one of the dog's legs off, then they told the dog to walk. The dog got up and walked, so they they learned that a dog could walk with just three legs. For the second experiment, they cut off a second leg from the dog, then they told the dog once more to walk. The dog was still able to walk with only two legs. For the third experiment, they cut off yet another leg from the dog and once more they told the dog to walk. However, the dog wasn't able to walk with only one leg. As a result of these three experiments, the scientists wrote in their final report that the dog had lost it's hearing after having three legs cut off.
What kind of bees make milk instead of honey? Boobies.
Did you hear about the new shark food restaurant called Jaws? It costs an arm and a leg to eat there.
Why did the dolphin feel crabby? Because he ate too many crabs.
What job do rabbits at hotels have? Bellhop.
Q: What happens when you cross a pig with a Democrat? A: Nothing. There are some things a pig won't do.
Did you find my horse well behaved? Indeed, whenever we came to a fence he let me over first!
In the middle of a forest, there was a hunter who was suddenly confronted by a huge, mean bear. In his fear, all attempts to shoot the bear were unsuccessful. Finally, he turned and ran as fast as he could. The hunter ran and ran and ran, until he ended up at the edge of a very steep cliff. His hopes were dim. Seeing no way out of his predicament, and with the bear closing in rather quickly, the hunter got down on his knees, opened his arms, and exclaimed, "Dear God! Please give this bear some religion!" The skies darkened and there was lightning in the air. Just a few feet short of the hunter, the bear came to an abrupt stop, and glanced around, somewhat confused. Suddenly, the bear looked up into the sky and said, "Thank you, God, for the food I'm about to receive..."
What do you get from a cowmedian? Cream of Wit.
Does a dolphin ever do something by accident? No, they do everything on porpoise.