Chuck Norris can over rev a revolver.
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Chuck Norris can tap dance though a mine field... wearing clown shoes.
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Chuck Norris knows what the secret crabby patty recipe is.
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Chuck Norris once ate three 72 oz. steaks in one hour.
He spent the first 45 minutes having sex with his waitress.
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Chuck Norris is the only person who can kick someone in the back of the face.
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Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King and got one.
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When Chuck Norris hired his bodyguards, he figured he was paying to save someone.
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Chuck Norris doesn't need a particle accelerator to collide atoms, he just smashes his fists together.
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Chuck Norris can make a pound cake with only an ounce.
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In the first Jurassic Park movie, the Tyrannosaurus Rex wasn't chasing the jeep.
Chuck Norris was chasing the Tyrannosaurus and the jeep.
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Chuck Norris does not require food, drink, shelter, or sleep, only confirmed kills.
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