The party only starts when Chuck Norris walks in.
Chuck Norris walked his version of a 40-yard dash in 5.6 seconds; he was later told it was the Boston Marathon.
Chuck Norris knows what Willis is talkin' bout- Bbrandon Delariva.
The saddest moment for a child is not when he learns Santa Claus isn't real. It's when he learns Chuck Norris is.
Some people can ride their bikes with no handle bars. But chuck norris can ride his handlebars with no bike.
Chuck norris sneezes bullets at people.
Chuck Norris could catch that damn acorn in those ICE AGE movies!
Chuck norris can throw a rock at you... looking the other way.
Chuck Norris doesn't compete, he wins.
Evolution's driving mechanism is nature's desperate attempt to escape Chuck Norris.
When someone is in trouble it's a job for Superman, when Superman is in trouble it's a job for Chuck Norris.