Chuck Norris can spit through bulletproof glass.
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Chuck Norris invented the internet so that he could reach his enemies, preferably ninjas.
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Chuck Norris used to date Hurricane Katrina.
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Chuck Norris can Do Mental Math on Paper.
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Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names.
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The burning bush that Moses spoke of was actually Chuck Norris's beard!
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Chuck Norris hates Raymond.
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When Chuck Norris gets nominated for the ALS ice bucket challenge, the bucket donates $1000 to ALS research.
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What was going through the minds of all of Chuck Norris' victims before they died?
His shoe.
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Chuck Norris went to every planet in the galaxy.
That is why there is no life on any of them.
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Chuck Norris has only one friend on Facebook: Pain.
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