Chuck Norris can spit through bulletproof glass.
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In 1666, Chuck Norris caught the Plague.
The Plague learned its lesson, and has stayed away since then.
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Chuck Norris sprinted 2 marathons - backwards.
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Chuck Norris didn't grow a beard, a beard grew Chuck Norris.
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Q: Chuck Norris invented the internet?
A: Just so he had a place to store his porn.
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If you see the Blue Screen of Death on your laptop... it's because Chuck Norris found out you were reading Chuck Norris jokes.
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Chuck Norris got a perfect SAT score by just putting his name on the paper...
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Chuck Norris doesn't actually write books, the words assemble themselves out of fear.
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Nobody doesn't like Sara Lee.
Except Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris doesn't pay the government, the government pays him.
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We're hoping Chuck Norris doesn't go bald on top.
It's a bad look with his mullet.
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