Chuck Norris can spit through bulletproof glass.
Thunder is caused by Chuck Norris rubbing the stubble on his chin.
Chuck Norris's daughter lost her virginity, he got it back.
Scooby Doo prefers Norris snacks'.
Chuck Norris doesn't need oxygen tanks when scuba diving. He simply sucks all the life out of the ocean to breath.
Chuck Norris can't finish a "color by numbers" because his markers are filled with the blood of his victims. Unfortunately, all blood is dark red.
Chuck Norris and Superman once fought each other on a bet. The loser had to start wearing his underwear on the outside of his pants.
Chuck Norris CAN handle the truth.
Chuck Norris... Chuck Norris... Chuck Norris... Okay, I've finished my morning prayers.
Chuck Norris eats blackholes as light snacks.
Chuck Norris doesn't go on the Internet, he has every Internet site stored in his memory. He refreshes webpages by blinking.