Chuck Norris doesn't Tivo television programs.
They come on when HE wants them to.
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The snake was punished because Chuck Norris tempted it to ate the apple.
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If you go on google and type find Chuck Norris then click I'm feelin lucky...run
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Q: What is the sound of Chuck Norris clapping one hand?
A: Thunder.
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Chuck Norris eats black holes for breakfast.
They taste like chicken.
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Chuck Norris can whistle in five different languages, including sign language.
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Chuck Norris can kill a man in 52 different ways using only a ballpoint pen.
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Chuck Norris logged on MSN through the display of washing machines.
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When Chuck Norris punches someone in the stomach they get hit in the back of the head.
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According to Einstein's theory of relativity, Chuck Norris can actually roundhouse kick you yesterday.
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If Chuck were in the movie Nightmare On Elm Street then it would be renamed nightmare on Chuck Norris Street, cuz nobody dared to get near him.
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