Chuck Norris doesn't Tivo television programs.
They come on when HE wants them to.
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Chuck Norris has only one friend on Facebook: Pain.
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If he wanted to, Chuck Norris could rob a bank.
By phone.
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Chuck Norris can win a Grammy from coughing.
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Chuck Norris tells his GPS when he wants to turn.
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Chuck Norris once hit 3 touchdowns during a friendly game of full-contact bowling.
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It is better to give than to receive.
This is especially true of a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick.
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The Dead Sea was once alive before Chuck Norris bathed there.
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Chuck Norris can travel through time by running 88 miles per hour.
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Chuck Norris won a game of chess with checker pieces.
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Chuck doesn't have e-mail, he has HE-mail.
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