Chuck Norris doesn't Tivo television programs.
They come on when HE wants them to.
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Chuck Norris once won a Scrabble tournament despite getting only Z's and Q's in his rack.
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After Chuck Norris was born, he drove himself back home.
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The ground hog only pokes his head out to check for Chuck Norris.
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My friend to me "I don't understand why Chuck Norris is the butt of so many jokes."
Me to the friend "Well he does kick a lot of them."
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Chuck Norris Killed Medusa with a round house Kick.
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Chuck Norris can hit a grand slam with no one on base.
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The reason Chuck Norris has never been a doctor on House is because, he would find the diagnosis in one second.
It'd always be Norris Anger Disease.
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Chuck Norris made sick the healthy chocolate.
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If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck Norris has more money than you.
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Chuck Norris can set the oven to cold.
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