Chuck Norris doesn't Tivo television programs.
They come on when HE wants them to.
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Chuck Norris not only speaks in the third person, he sees in the third person.
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People say "bless you" when you sneeze because Chuck Norris might catch your soul.
It's a myth.
Chuck Norris can take your soul whenever he wants.
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Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer.
Too bad he has never cried.
Ever.
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Chuck Norris' beard can shave a razor.
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The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse actually live in Chuck Norris's nutsack.
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Chuck Norris does not require food, drink, shelter, or sleep, only confirmed kills.
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Chuck Norris doesn't play computer games,the computer plays Chuck Norris games.
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Q: What does Superman, Batman, and Ironman have in common?
A: When they were kids they wanted to be Chuck Norris
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Extra Terrestrials often visit Earth from other galaxies - they're here to see if Chuck Norris really exists.
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The show Survivor had the original premise of putting people on an island with Chuck Norris.
there were no survivors and the pilot episode tape has been burned.
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