Chuck Norris doesn't Tivo television programs.
They come on when HE wants them to.
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Chuck Norris owns the gold color at the end of the rainbow.
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Count from one to ten.
That's how long it would take Chuck Norris to kill you... Forty seven times.
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Chuck Norris watched the tape from The Ring.
His phone rang and when he answered a scared voice said "Excuse me, the wrong number"
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Chuck Norris can unlock a hairpin with a door.
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Chuck Norris does not need guns to win, he only uses them to fight fairly.
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When Chuck Norris calls 911 it's to ask if everything is ok.
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Chuck Norris cannot be put in a corner.
The corner always backs away.
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If Chuck Norris is after you, don't bother killing yourself, he'll pull you down from heaven and kill you again.
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The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse actually live in Chuck Norris's nutsack.
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Do you know why babys cry when they are born?
Because they know they are entering the world with chuck Norris in it.
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