Chuck Norris doesn't Tivo television programs.
They come on when HE wants them to.
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Once, on the set of Walker Texas Ranger, a goat fell over dead.
Chuck Norris ran up to the goat and beard rubbed it back to life.
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Chuck Norris' sweat is used to disinfect operating rooms.
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What do you spell if you rearrange the letters in Chuck Norris's name.
Nothing, because you can't mess with Chuck Norris.
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Once Chuck Norris went to Mc Donalds and had a pizza.
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Chuck Norris can follow you into a revolving door and come out ahead of you.
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Chuck Norris once created a time machine and had to fight himself.
We call it The Big Bang.
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Don't type "Chuck Norris" on Monster Milktruck, your milk will turn into beer.
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Wagner is really Chuck Norris!
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When Chuck Norris gets nominated for the ALS ice bucket challenge, the bucket donates $1000 to ALS research.
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When Chuck Norris goes to the beach, he puts on sunscreen to protect the sun from him.
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