Chuck Norris doesn't Tivo television programs.
They come on when HE wants them to.
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Chuck Norris can clog the toilet with his pee.
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Chuck Norris reads with his eyes closed.
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Chuck Norris counted to infinity - three times.
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Although it is not common knowledge, there are actually three sides to the Force: the light side, the dark side, and Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris doesn't do Burn Down charts, he does Smack Down charts.
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Alien from "A.V.P" is just Chuck Norris' Gecko.
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Chuck Norris built the hospital in which he was born.
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Chuck Norris sky dives without a parachute.
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Chuck Norris does not sleep.
He waits.
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Chuck Norris doesn't scroll with a mouse.
He uses a lion.
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