There was once a ship that wouldn't let chuck norris on board. It is now known as titanic
Chuck Norris invented the question mark... so he could say the sentence "Do you want to die slowly of fast?"
There's an order to the universe: space, time, Chuck Norris... Just kidding, Chuck Norris is first.
Local mountain lions have been complaining about the recent string of Chuck Norris attacks.
Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his dad did.
Chuck Norris doesn't play "hide-and-seek." He plays "hide-and-pray-I-don't-find-you."
Charlie Sheen is a drug, it will melt your face and kill you. Chuck Norris had two 8-Balls of Sheen and is now suing for false advertising.
If Chuck Norris was an answer, there would be no question, Chuck Norris answers to nobody.
Chuck Norris' sweat is used to disinfect operating rooms.
When Chuck Norris makes a burrito, its main ingredient is real toes.