There was once a ship that wouldn't let chuck norris on board. It is now known as titanic
Chuck Norris was about to die... until the Grim Reaper phoned in sick.
Chuck Norris goes on Jeopardy and doesn't answer in the form of a question.
Chuck Norris's favourite drink is diamond juice, which he squeezes out of raw diamonds with his bare hands.
Chuck Norris can unscramble eggs.
Chuck Norris tangled with Wolverine. He beat to him to a bloody pulp, then dared him to heal himself. Wolverine will not be in the next X-Men movie.
Obama said, "Yes we can." Chuck Norris says, "I already did.".
Chuck Norris doesn't blink...reality pauses.
Chuck Norris doesn't ask, "who's your daddy?" Chuck Norris is your daddy.
Chuck Norris speaks english, french, spanish, italian and portuguese. At the same time in every sentence.
Chuck Norris was sitting around a campfire with two cowboys. The cowboys were competing to see which one is more hardcore. The first one says," Once, I was charged by an angry bull. I proceeded to jump on its back and kill it by gorging its eyes out." The second says, " Once I was swimming in a river, and an annocanda tried to strangle me. I ripped its head off with my teeth." Chuck norris just smiles and continues tending to the campfire with his penis.