Joke #831

There was once a ship that wouldn't let chuck norris on board. It is now known as titanic

When chuck Norris was in school, he made his PE teacher run laps.

Chuck Norris doesn't need a License to drive a car... The car needs a special license to be driven by Chuck Norris.

You know how they say if you die in your dream then you will die in real life? In reality, if you dream of death then Chuck Norris will find you and kill you.

Demons don't hunt Chuck Norris... He is hunting them!

Chuck Norris is the reason Dorothy must follow the yellow brick road.

A kid once tried to scare Chuck Norris on Halloween... sadly he has had the hiccups now for 40 years.

The two thousand member Catholic church was filled to overflowing capacity one Sunday morning. The priest was ready to start the Mass when two men, dressed in long black coats and black hats entered thru the rear of the church. One of the two men walked to the middle of the church while the other stayed at the back of the church. They both then reached under their coats and withdrew automatic weapons. The one in the middle announced, "Everyone willing to take a bullet for Jesus stay in your seats!" Naturally, the pews emptied, followed by the choir. The deacons ran out the door, followed by the choir director and the alter boy. After a few moments, there were about twenty people left sitting in the church. The priest was holding steady in the pulpit. The men put their weapons away and said, gently, "All right, Father, the hypocrites are gone now. You may begin the Mass."

On the show Man v.s Wild, when they talk about the profesionals that Bear recieves help from, they are refering to Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris' Facebook status has a dislike button...nobody clicks it.

Chuck Norris made Stevie Wonder flinch.