Chuck Norris watches Saturday Night Live on Friday.
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Chuck Norris used to date Hurricane Katrina.
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Chuck Norris can empty a swimming pool with a fork... while it's raining.
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Chuck Norris doesn't do cocaine.
Cocaine does Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris doesn't chew gum.
Chuck Norris chews tin foil.
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Chuck Norris CAN read Lady Gaga's poker face.
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CBS hired Chuck Norris to replace Charlie Sheen, now the show is called Ten and half Men.
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Chuck Norris once fell off a ladder, it immediately became a chair and caught him out of fear.
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Jason Bourne is Chuck Norris' daughter...
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Even though Chuck Norris' lives in Dallas, Texas, his house still has spectacular views of both the Atlantic and Pacific oceans.
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When Chuck Norris jumps from a building, the concrete commits suicide.
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