Chuck Norris watches Saturday Night Live on Friday.
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The reason Chuck Norris has never been a doctor on House is because, he would find the diagnosis in one second.
It'd always be Norris Anger Disease.
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When Chuck Norris was 5 he threw a paper airplane.
It landed yesterday.
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Everybody knows that Chuck Norris can't shoot a bow even though he got 5 bullseyes in a row.
The only reason he got the bullseye is that his arrows know better than to miss.
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When Chuck Norris visits Africa, the animals are required to stay in their cars.
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There are no comets.
Only people that Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked so hard that they are now in permanent orbit in our solar system.
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Chuck Norris often walks on Bikini Atoll during tests to get a tan.
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Chuck Norris can play the violin with a piano.
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Unicorns are extinct but Chuck Norris used all their horns as toothpicks.
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Chuck Norris' guitar amp goes up to 12.
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Chuck Norris could catch that damn acorn in those ICE AGE movies!
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