Chuck Norris watches Saturday Night Live on Friday.
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Chuck Norris doesn't hold any world records, he broke them all.
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Gravity obeys Chuck Norris.
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If you weigh 78kg on earth you will weigh 13kg on the moon.
If Chuck Norris weighs 78kg on earth, the moon weighs 13kg on Chuck Norris.
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When Chuck Norris goes to out to eat, he orders a whole chicken, but he only eats its soul.
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One day Chuck Norris went into Wal Mart.
The clerk told him to have a nice day.
The next day the clerk was found dead.
The police asked Chuck Norris if he killed her and he said yes so they asked him why.
He said " Nobody tells Chuck Norris what to do"
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Chuck Norris once stitched up a cut in his arm with a spoon.
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If Chuck Norris movies were in 3D, the audience would be dead.
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People say "bless you" when you sneeze because Chuck Norris might catch your soul.
It's a myth.
Chuck Norris can take your soul whenever he wants.
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Chuck Norris takes a meteor shower.
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Chuck Norris can eat peanut butter with a straw.
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