Chuck Norris doesn't use a fire extinguisher to put out fires... he just tells the fire to stop burning.
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In honor of Chuck Norris, all McDonald's in Texas have an even larger size than the super-size.
When ordering, just ask to be "Norrisized".
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A man once insulted Chuck Norris by saying he was smarter than him.
That man was Stephen Hawking.
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Chuck Norris dropped an apple once, and gravity was born.
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Big Foot discovered Chuck Norris and hid in the forest.
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Bruce Wayne first tried wearing a Chuck Norris mask to inspire fear, until he saw himself in the mirror.
He immediately changed to the Batman
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Chuck Norris once slapped a headless man.
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Hurricane Katrina wasn't the weather... it was the wind of a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick from Texas to Louisiana.
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Chuck Norris wins every political campaign, but politely declines the jobs.
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Chuck Norris can divide by zero.
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Some say Chuck once sneezed a rhino inside out.
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