Chuck Norris doesn't use a fire extinguisher to put out fires... he just tells the fire to stop burning.
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Chuck Norris once threw a pebble.
We now call it...Hayley's Comet.
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Chuck Norris sent Jesus a birthday card on December 25th and it wasn't Jesus birthday.
Jesus was to scared to correct Chuck Norris and to this day December 25th is known as Jesus' birthday.
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Chuck Norris is not 70 years old.
At age 60, he began getting younger.
This is why he is actually only 50.
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Chuck Norris doesn't dial the wrong number, you pick up the wrong phone
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When Chuck Norris works out at the gym, he doesn't sweat.
The weights do.
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The Mona Lisa is smiling because Chuck Norris let her live.
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Chuck Norris can copy and paste on a typewriter.
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Chuck Norris can over rev a revolver.
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Stevie Wonder was the last person to stare Chuck Norris directly in the eyes...
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When Chuck Norris pours a bowl of Rice Krispies, they shut the hell up!
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