Chuck Norris doesn't use a fire extinguisher to put out fires... he just tells the fire to stop burning.
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Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King and got one.
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Bears only poop in the woods when Chuck Norris says its ok..
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Chuck Norris can check out books from the Library of Congress.
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Chuck Norris can fold airplanes into paper.
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Chuck Norris has no need for a TV remote.
He stares at his television, until it changes the channel.
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Usain Bolt only began running when he heard, Chuck Norris was in Jamaica shooting a commercial for Red Bull.
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Jesus is the son of God.
God is the son of Chuck Norris.
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When Chuck Norris bakes cookies for his enemies, he adds his own secret ingredient to make a special taste to it. Its called "defeat".
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Chuck Norris never gets dirty.
The dirt is too afraid to even touch him or his clothes.
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Chuck Norris can make music in Adobe Photoshop.
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