Chuck Norris can speak Japanese... in French.
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Chuck Norris won the Tour De France on a stationary bike.
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Chuck Norris knows how to kill you in more ways than you know how to die.
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Chuck Norris put humpty dumpty back together again, only to roundhouse kick him in the face.
Later Chuck dined on scrambled eggs with all the king's horses and all the king's men.
The king himself could not attend for unspecified reasons.
Coincidentally, the autopsoy revealed the cause of death to be a roundhouse kick to the face.
There is only one King.
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When Chuck Norris calls 1-900 numbers, he doesn’t get charged.
He holds up the phone and money falls out.
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Time keeps going only to run away from Chuck Norris.
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Crop circles are Chuck Norris' way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie the f*** down.
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Chuck Norris went an hour without killing... just to kill some time.
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If Chuck Norris says his opinion on somthing, it automaticlly becomes a fact.
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Meteors didn't kill the dinosaurs, Chuck Norris just needed a new pair of boots.
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At the age of 17, Chuck Norris was fired from his job in a car factory because he roundhouse-kicked a car in half.
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