Chuck Norris can speak Japanese... in French.
When Chuck Norris goes skydiving at 10,000 feet he jumps into the plane... from the ground.
Chuck Norris hit you tomorrow, is going to hit you yesterday, and you're now dead.
Chuck Norris has heard the actual voice of Charlie Brown's teacher...
The party only starts when Chuck Norris walks in.
Chuck Norris once squeezed an M&M so hard that it turned into a Skittle.
If Chuck Norris ever got caught for speeding, he'd let the cops off with a warning.
"With great power comes a great beard!" - Chuck Norris.
There was no Big Bang at the beginning of the Universe, Chuck Norris simply sneezed.
Chuck Norris bought out the Walt Disney Company with a car-wash token.
Chuck starts the new year by roundhouse kicking the old one.