Chuck Norris can speak Japanese... in French.
Chuck Norris won a soccer game. He was the referee.
Chuck Norris is reading all these jokes and thinking to himself: They make me sound like a pussy.
Across all of the infinite number of parallel universes the version of Chuck Norris is the same. Nature knows perfection when she sees it.
Chuck Norris doesn't go on the Internet, he has every Internet site stored in his memory. He refreshes webpages by blinking.
Chuck Norris made a statue bleed.
No man can perfectly predict the weather, not even Chuck Norris. But the weather DOES try to predict what kind of day Chuck would like to have...
Chuck Norris can arrive anywhere without actually leaving.
Chuck Norris has never won a single fight. Winning would imply some sort of competition or chance that he could loose.
You know the movie, Alien VS Predator? Well it used to be called Alien VS Predator VS Chuck Norris, but no body would pay to see a fight 7 seconds long.
Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.