When Chuck Norris hired his bodyguards, he figured he was paying to save someone.
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Every morning Chuck Norris eats a bowl of nails for Breakfast... without milk.
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Chuck Norris jumped the grand canyon...longways
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Chuck Norris never reads the News – because Chuck Norris IS the News.
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When God said "Let there be light!", Chuck Norris said "Only for half the day."
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Chuck Norris invented the Giraffe when he roundhouse kicked a spotted Horse in the chin.
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In honor of Chuck Norris, all McDonald's in Texas have an even larger size than the super-size.
When ordering, just ask to be "Norrisized".
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Chuck Norris has only one friend on Facebook: Pain.
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The reason everything is better in Texas is because Chuck Norris said so.
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You might kill two birds with one stone, but Chuck Norris kills two stones with one bird.
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Chuck Norris doesn't get sun burnt; that would be a foolish thing for the sun to do.
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