When Chuck Norris hired his bodyguards, he figured he was paying to save someone.
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Chuck Norris is the only person who can write history of the future.
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Chuck norris recently received a restraining order barring him from getting closer then half a mile from Satan.
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Chuck Norris invented hot sauce.
To put on his peppers.
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2012 is the predicted date for the end of the world.
The only rational explanation is Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris doesn't scroll with a mouse.
He uses a lion.
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Solar flares are a myth... it's really Chuck Norris' flashlight.
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When Chuck Norris calls 1-900 numbers, he doesn’t get charged.
He holds up the phone and money falls out.
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Chuck Norris' Internet connection is faster upstream than downstream because even data has more incentive to run from him than to him.
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Chuck Norris has sneezing allergies in the mid-to-late fall.
This time is typically referred to as hurricane season.
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The Beatles' song "HELP" was written after they met Chuck Norris.
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