When Chuck Norris hired his bodyguards, he figured he was paying to save someone.
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My insurance policy says: "Does not cover acts of God, or Chuck Norris."
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If Chuck Norris was a spartan the movie would be called "1".
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Chuck Norris can hear the sound of one hand clapping.
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The only Christmas present Chuck Norris ever gives is allowing you to live.
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Chuck Norris is the only person to really have "Birthdays".
The rest of us have "Thank you Chuck for allowing me to live another year- days".
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To be roundhouse-kicked by Chuck Norris means getting his autograph.
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Chuck Norris doesn't have a will.
Invincible people don't need them.
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Chuck Norris once ate a bottle of sleeping pills.
They made him blink.
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Michael Jackson does moonwalk because he doesn't have time to turn and run away from Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris logged on MSN through the display of washing machines.
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