When Chuck Norris hired his bodyguards, he figured he was paying to save someone.
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The phrase "I am become death, destroyer of worlds" was actually first coined by Chuck Norris when he came out of the womb.
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The following is a short list of what Chuck Norris cannot do: .
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Chuck Norris doesn't Tivo television programs.
They come on when HE wants them to.
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Chuck Norris watched the entire Lord of the Rings without blinking.
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The only thing written on Chuck Norris' passport is "It's me".
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Chuck Norris doesn't play computer games,the computer plays Chuck Norris games.
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Chuck Norris eats beef jerky and craps gunpowder.
Then, he uses that gunpowder to make a bullet, which he uses to kill a cow and make more beef jerky.
Some people refer to this as the "Circle of Life."
Nuclear weapons were discovered after a failed attempt to harness the power of Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris keeps his friends close and his enemies closer.
Close enough to drop them with one round house kick to the face.
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"With great power comes a great beard!"
- Chuck Norris.
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