When Chuck Norris hired his bodyguards, he figured he was paying to save someone.
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Chuck Norris was born feet first.
It was the only time a doctor died during childbirth.
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Chuck Norris put humpty dumpty back together again, only to roundhouse kick him in the face.
Later Chuck dined on scrambled eggs with all the king's horses and all the king's men.
The king himself could not attend for unspecified reasons.
Coincidentally, the autopsoy revealed the cause of death to be a roundhouse kick to the face.
There is only one King.
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Chuck Norris eats lightning and shits out thunder.
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Superman got his powers when Chuck Norris sneezed on him.
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Chuck Norris can braid a bald head.
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Pluto is actually an orbiting group of British soldiers from the American Revolution who entered space after the Chuck gave them a roundhouse kick to the face.
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Stores accept Monopoly money from Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris is the reason why Einstein's theory of relativity is still a theory.
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Chuck Norris sent Jesus a birthday card on December 25th and it wasn't Jesus birthday.
Jesus was to scared to correct Chuck Norris and to this day December 25th is known as Jesus' birthday.
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When Chuck Norris says 'Candyman' five times in a row, no one appears.
Candyman ain't stupid.
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