When Chuck Norris hired his bodyguards, he figured he was paying to save someone.
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If Chuck Norris movies were in 3D, the audience would be dead.
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The entire movie of "Anaconda" was recorded inside Chuck Norris' pants.
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Chuck Norris sends his beard clippings to the police.
They are used as bullet proof vests.
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When Chuck Norris was a kid he taught his parents to stay away from strangers.
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Chuck Norris is reading all these jokes and thinking to himself: They make me sound like a pussy.
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While we all get checked by the airport security, Chuck checks the airport security.
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A Handicap parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people.
It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park there.
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Chuck Norris rejects your reality and substitutes it with his fist.
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The energizer bunny freezes when it sees Chuck Norris.
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Obama said, "Yes we can." Chuck Norris says, "I already did.".
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