Chuck Norris doesn't jump. He moves the ground away from him.
Chuck Norris can choke you to life.
When Chuck Norris was born he drove his mom home from the hospital.
A watched kettle never boils... unless Chuck Norris is doing the watching, in which case it explodes.
Chuck Norris can create tornados by running around in circles.
Chuck Norris found Nemo with his eyes closed.
Chuck Norris' favorite game is winning.
In Chuck Norris' yard, money does grow on trees.
Chuck Norris once slapped a man into next week. The man was missing for four and a half years.
Chuck Norris doesn't need a theme song because, you won't hear anything once your roundhouse kicked in the face.
When Chuck Norris plays hide and seek, even google can't find him.