Chuck Norris doesn't jump. He moves the ground away from him.
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Chuck Norris was the fourth wise man, who gave baby Jesus the gift of beard, which he carried with him until he died.
The other three wise men were enraged by the preference that Jesus showed to Chuck's gift, and arranged to have him written out of the bible.
All three died soon after of mysterious roundhouse-kick related injuries.
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Anybody can outdo the impossible, but nobody can outdo Chuck Norris.
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When Chuck Norris crosses the pacific, swimming, sharks hear the "Jaws" music.
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Chuck Norris never needs help, help needs Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris can tie his shoes with his feet.
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Chuck Norris doesn't need a stapler, he puts the paper between his fingers and they just stick.
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Chuck Norris didn't cross the road... he was already on the other side...
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Chuck Norris can walk on water..,he's not God...the water is just afraid of getting him wet.
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According to leading scientists, the deadliest animal on the planet is the Bearded Norris.
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Chuck Norris's 1st Grade teacher asked him how many stars there were on the American Flag.
Chuck Norris replied "Yes." and was correct.
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