Chuck Norris understood the ending of Lost.
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Chuck Norris paints little red wagons for a living with his victim's blood.
But not the wheels.
That's just wrong.
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Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting implies the probability of failure.
Chuck Norris goes killing.
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When Chuck Norris got his first sling-shot, he created what we now know today as the "Moon", "Mars", "Jupitar", "Saturn" and "Pluto"
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They once made a "Chuck Norris" brand toilet paper, but it wouldn't take shit from anybody.
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Chuck Norris got a flame and froze it.
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Chuck Norris puts phone companies on hold.
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Chuck Norris can get satellite cable from a Skoal can.
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Chuck Norris has the greatest Poker-Face of all time.
He won the 1983 World Series of Poker, despite holding only a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoly card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game UNO.
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Crop Circles are Chuck Norris's preschool art projects.
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Bruce Lee is the only person that lived from a roundhouse kick from Chuck Norris.
He died a year later.
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