Time waits for no man. Unless that man is Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris gets a the highest score possible on Wii Fit by sitting down.
Sharks watch Chuck Norris week.
Chuck Norris doesn't prepare dinner; dinner knows when to be ready.
Chuck Norris can do a wheelie on a unicycle.
Q: What happens when an unstoppable force meets an unmovable object? A: Chuck Norris is clapping.
Chuck Norris watched the tape from The Ring. His phone rang and when he answered a scared voice said "Excuse me, the wrong number"
Chuck Norris once threw out the first pitch at a NASCAR race.
Chuck Norris doesn't have an ATM PIN – the machine just spits out cash – at every bank!
The only apocolypse that can happen is if bogyman insults Chuck Norris. The whole universe goes to hell.