Time waits for no man. Unless that man is Chuck Norris.
Most people have 23 pairs of chromosomes. Chuck Norris has 72... and they're all poisonous.
Chuck norris recently received a restraining order barring him from getting closer then half a mile from Satan.
Q: Why aren't the aliens making contact? A: They are afraid of Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris can flip a coin and make it land on both sides at the same time.
Chuck Norris can make you laugh at your own funeral.
There are no such things as Chuck Norris haters...just people with short lives.
Armageddon is defined as the day Chuck Norris gets bored with us.
Chuck Norris invented half when he round house kicked the number 1
Chuck Norris wears sunglasses not to protect his eyes from the sun, but to protect the sun from Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris runs Windows Vista, and it has never crashed.