There is no snooze button on a cat who wants breakfast. Thousands of years ago, cats were worshipped as gods... Cats have never forgotten this. Here's proof that Cats are smarter than dogs... You can't get eight cats to pull a sled through snow. Dogs come when they're called; cats take a message and get back to you later. People who hate cats, will come back as mice in their next life.Dogs believe they are human. Cats believe they are God! Some people say that cats are sneaky, evil, and cruel. I got rid of my husband. The cat was allergic.My husband said it was him or the cat... I miss him sometimes. Cats aren't clean, they're just covered with cat spit!
Two fish swim into a concrete wall. One turns to the other and says: "Dam"
What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? a lickalotapus.
Chuck Norris and Jean-Claude Van Damme play tug a war with live annacondas.
Two blondes were walking through the woods when one looked down and said "Oh, look at the deer tracks." The other blonde looks and says "Those aren't deer tracks, those are wolf tracks." "No. Those are deer tracks." They keep arguing, and arguing, about half hour later they were both killed by a train.
What do you call a poodle with no legs? A sponge.
A man had a party where all the rich people attend. And the he had a pool with alligators. So he announced that anyone who will swim across this pool and come out alive will be granted three wishes. But no one wanted to go for the challenge. All of a sudden, there was a big splash and a man was swimming like a hell and came out alive. So the host asked, "What are your three wishes?" The man replied, "Give me the shotgun and bulllets and show me the idiot that pushed me in..."
A dog with three legs walks into a Wild West bar and says, ‘I’m looking for the man who shot my paw.’
How to you know that cows will be in heaven? It's a place of udder delight.
When should you feel sorry for a skunk? When its spray pump is out of order!.
What do cows like to listen to? Moo-sic.