Joke #11097

What kind of horse can swim underwater without coming up for air? A seahorse.
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Did you hear about the pub owner who raised a baby rabbit? It was an inn-grown hare.
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Q: What do dogs do after they finish obedience school? A: They get their masters.
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There was a hysterical call at the fire department, and it went like this: "Help me, please help me! There is a cat meowing and yowling with frequency and urgency. It is going to hurt me, it's going to kill me, can you please help me, and send the fire squad right away?" "Take it easy, cats don’t hurt us, just relax wait until he leaves." "You don’t understand it is going to bite me, it is going to kill me, it is going to be fatal!" "Cats aren’t like snakes or spiders that are poisonous, by the way who is calling?" "I’m Josephine’s parrot you jerk!" "Help me please, please help!"
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Did you hear about the overweight man who took up horse riding as exercise? The horse lost 15 pounds in a week!
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What do you get if you cross a zebra with an ape man? Tarzan stripes forever.
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Why is it that if you give a child an encyclopedia, lawyer is always the third thing they look up? Because the first thing a child looks up is dog. The second is snake. And under snake, the encyclopedia says See Lawyer.
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Q: Why do cops arrest black people? A: Because monkeys belong in cages.
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Why are there no zebras in Czech zoos? Czechs and stripes don’t mix.
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Are you a shark? Cause I've got some swimmers for you to swallow.
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What do cows wear when they are on vacation in Hawaii? Moo moos.
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