Two hikers are out hiking.
All of a sudden, a bear starts chasing them.
They climb a tree, but the bear starts climbing up the tree after them.
The first hiker gets his sneakers out of his knapsack and starts putting them on.
The second hiker says, "What are you doing?"
The first responds, "I figure when the bear gets close to us, we ll have to jump down and make a run for it."
The second says, "Are you crazy? Don't you know you can't outrun a bear?
The first guy says, "I don't have to outrun the bear... I only have to outrun you!"
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A big city doctor visits an Indian tribe full of men, he asks "How do you guys relieve your sexual tension?"
"Simple, just come down to the river tomorrow and we'll show you."
The next day the doctor shows up and sees a group of men near a donkey.
One man says "Since you're our guest you get to go first."
The doctor not wanting to go against custom starts to kiss, then proceeds to have sex with the donkey.
Then a man in the group asks "Are you almost done Doc?"
"We need the donkey to cross the river in order to get to the tribe of women."
Q: What do women and cats have in common?
A: Pussy farts.
Whats the difference in a seagull and a babys diaper?
A seagull flits across the shore and a baby shits across the floor.
What sound do you hear when you drop a bomb on a cow?
Cowboom!
What do you call a neurotic octopus?
A crazy, mixed-up squid.
Q: Why didn't go Noah fishing?
A: He only had two worms.
Did you hear about the skunk who sat on a fan?
He got cut off without a scent.
If it looks like chicken tastes like chicken and smells like chicken and Chuck Norris says it's beef then it's beef.
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Q: What's a tiger running a copy machine called?
A: A copycat!
Q: What is black white and rolls around in the sand?
A: A black man and a segal fighting over a carp.
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