Q: What do you get when you cross a perm with a rabbit?
A: Curly hare.
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Accountant after reading a nursery rhyme to his child,"No, son. It wouldn't be tax deductible when Little Bo Peep loses her sheep. But I like your thinking."
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Q: Why was the farmer arrested at the gym?
A: He was destroying his calves.
What purrs along the road and leaves holes in the lawn?
A Moles Royce.
In India, cows wait until Chuck Norris crosses the street.
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What do you call a group of cattle sent into orbit?
The first herd shot round the world.
A monkey goes into a bar and asks the barman:
- Do you have any bananas?
- No,I don't. ( says the barman)
- Do you have any bananas? (asks the monkey)
- No,I have not got any bananas!
- Do you have any bananas?
- If you ask me that question one more time, I'll nail your tongue to the counter!
- Do you have any nails?
- No,I don't.
- Do you have any bananas?
My tomcat used to stay out all night, so I took him to the vet and had him neutered.
Now he still stays out all night – it turns out he likes to watch!
A baby hedgehog lost itself, in the garden.
Sad, he strolls from here to there, whereupon he bumps in a cactus and full of hope he says:
Mama, is that you?
Chuck Norris once rode a bull threw a China shop, the only thing that broke was the bull.
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