What's the difference between a tiger and a lion?
A tiger has the mane part missing.
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How do you tell if a black girls pregnant?
Shove a banana up her vagina and if you pull it out half eaten then you got a monkey on the way.
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I can teach my cat any trick he wants to do!
Q: Why don't seagulls fly over the bay?
A: Because then they'd be bay gulls.
Q: What is it called when a soldier slips into a fox hole?
A: Bestiality
Chuck Norris isn't a cat person but if he was, he would own 3 lions, a snow leopard, and cougar.
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Q: Why did the fat turkey cross the road?
A: To get hit by my car.
What do you get if you cross a cow, a french fry, and a sofa?
A cowch potato.
Q: If a horses foot covers 2 acres of land, what will his tail cover?
A: His ass!
A nude guy was sunbathing at the beach, a little girl comes to him, he covers his private parts with a newspaper.
The little girl asks, "hats under there?"
So the man answers , "A bird..."
The girl goes away & the man falls asleep. When he wakes up, he finds himself in a hospital & in alot of pain.
A doctor comes up to his bed & asks, 'What happened?'
The man answers, "I don't know. I was at the beach & fell asleep after talking to a little girl."
So the doctor tells this to the Police, and they go to the beach to find any witnesses.
When they got there, they see the little girl the man was talking about.
So they ask her if she did anything to the man...?
She answers, "I din't do anything to the man, but he was sleeping, I played with his bird, After a while, it spat at me, so i broke its neck, burnt its nest, and smashed all its eggs!"